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joke time
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A little lad told his nursery school teaches that he’d found a dead cat.
‘How do you know it was dead?’ ‘Because I pissed in its ear and it didn’t move.’ ‘You did WHAT??’ ‘You know - I leaned over and went “psst” and it didn’t move.’ Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
What do you call a piece of shit 12 inches long?
A foot stool.
The last time I was at McDonald’s, I ate a kids meal. His parents weren’t too happy about it.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
I read that a banana every day will cleanse your colon.
Then I found out you’re meant to eat them. Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Why is it easy for gingers to be serial killers?
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter (July 9, 2024 at 5:28 am)Foxaèr Wrote: Why is it easy for gingers to be serial killers? Well, that’s rude. I mean, it’s true and all, but still… Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
I met this Australian fella who works in IT. I just had to ask him, ‘Do you come from a LAN down under?’
He just smiled and gave me a megabyte sandwich. Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
 (July 16, 2024 at 4:17 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I met this Australian fella who works in IT. I just had to ask him, ‘Do you come from a LAN down under?’ ![[Image: 61mfn-DJhxm-L-AC-UF894-1000-QL80-FMwebp.webp]](https://i.ibb.co/PjHbNrj/61mfn-DJhxm-L-AC-UF894-1000-QL80-FMwebp.webp)
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Paddy had worked for years at the Guinness plant.
Every morning he set off to work at 7 am, and returned at 5 pm. He was always very punctual. So, one day, when he didn't come home on time, Mrs. Paddy became very worried. So she called the Guinness plant and was immediately put through to the manager. "I'm very sorry to tell you this, Mrs. Paddy, but Paddy fell into the vat of Guinness this afternoon and drowned!" "Oh, no!" exclaimed Mrs. Paddy, "At least tell me it was quick." "Unfortunately, no," replied the manager, "He had to get out and take a piss four times before he was finally finished." Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Mick walks up to the counter and says, "I'll have a pint of Guinness and a packet of crisps, please."
The woman says, "Oh, you must be Irish?" Mick is offended, "The cheek of it! Would you assume I was Italian if I asked for pasta??" "No, but this is a bookshop." Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" |
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