Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: August 10, 2025, 3:49 pm
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
joke time
A. Secular Human Offline
Grand Poobah, Atheist Nerds of the U. S.
***
Religious Views: God who?
Posts: 1634
Threads: 0
Joined: October 2, 2018
Reputation: 11
#6971
RE: joke time
June 9, 2025 at 4:15 pm
(June 6, 2025 at 12:19 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I went swimming at a public pool a few days ago and peed in the deep end. The lifeguard blew his whistle so loudly, I almost fell in.

Boru

Literally LOL.
Disappointing theists since 1968!
Find
Reply
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
Power-Drunk Administrator
********
Religious Views: Headology
Posts: 48784
Threads: 551
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation: 109
#6972
RE: joke time
July 17, 2025 at 6:09 am
'I tried to kill a spider with Axe Body Spray. Now, his name is Brett and he won't shut the fuck up about CrossFit.'

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Find
Reply
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
Power-Drunk Administrator
********
Religious Views: Headology
Posts: 48784
Threads: 551
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation: 109
#6973
RE: joke time
July 27, 2025 at 7:35 pm
First woman: I understand how you get ‘Bob’ from ‘Robert’ and ‘Will’ from ‘William’, but how do you get ‘Dick’ from ‘Richard’?

Her friend: Ask him nicely.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Find
Reply
Ravenshire Offline Donators
Assassin to (and of) kings.
*****
Religious Views: Purloiner of personal property.
Posts: 8439
Threads: 40
Joined: March 18, 2014
Reputation: 54
#6974
RE: joke time
July 27, 2025 at 8:16 pm
(May 8, 2025 at 9:36 am)arewethereyet Wrote: [Image: SQyDFJD.jpg]

Steve Hofstetter is fucking brilliant. Caught his show in Colorado Springs back in April. If you enjoy stand-up, and he comes within driving rage of you, go see him. It's worth it.
Thief and assassin for hire. Member in good standing of the Rogues Guild.
Find
Reply
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
Power-Drunk Administrator
********
Religious Views: Headology
Posts: 48784
Threads: 551
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation: 109
#6975
RE: joke time
July 30, 2025 at 3:59 pm
The best safe word you can use is ‘meatloaf’, because it means ‘I would do anything for love, but I won’t do THAT.’

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Find
Reply
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
Power-Drunk Administrator
********
Religious Views: Headology
Posts: 48784
Threads: 551
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation: 109
#6976
RE: joke time
August 2, 2025 at 3:53 pm
Musical genius Prince once hired a group of off-duty homicide detectives to clean his house. When their bosses asked them why, they said, ‘We were dusting for Prince.’

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Find
Reply
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
Power-Drunk Administrator
********
Religious Views: Headology
Posts: 48784
Threads: 551
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation: 109
#6977
RE: joke time
August 8, 2025 at 8:26 pm
I once knew a blind prostitute. You really had to hand it to her.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
********
Religious Views: Time to end them
Posts: 35754
Threads: 206
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 146
#6978
RE: joke time
August 8, 2025 at 8:31 pm
[Image: Gxx-FNwj-XMAAe-GBz.jpg]

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Find
Reply
arewethereyet Offline
Don't make me use my mom voice! FAFO
********
Religious Views: Yawn...
Posts: 17978
Threads: 136
Joined: July 10, 2013
Reputation: 65
#6979
RE: joke time
Yesterday at 7:56 pm
Donald Trump and Barack Obama found themselves in the same barber shop. The barbers were afraid to make any conversation for fear things would turn nasty.

When the barber who was working on Trump finished with the haircut he asked Mr. Trump if he would like some aftershave. Trump said no because his wife, Melania, would think he had been at a brothel.

The other barber finished with Mr. Obama's haircut and asked if he would like some aftershave. Barack said sure. My wife, Michelle, doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like.
I'm your huckleberry.
Find
Reply
Fireball Offline
Refractory Member
*****
Religious Views: Nullifidian
Posts: 10351
Threads: 21
Joined: September 8, 2015
Reputation: 79
#6980
RE: joke time
Yesterday at 8:45 pm
(Yesterday at 7:56 pm)arewethereyet Wrote: Donald Trump and Barack Obama found themselves in the same barber shop.  The barbers were afraid to make any conversation for fear things would turn nasty.

When the barber who was working on Trump finished with the haircut he asked Mr. Trump if he would like some aftershave.  Trump said no because his wife, Melania, would think he had been at a brothel.

The other barber finished with Mr. Obama's haircut and asked if he would like some aftershave.  Barack said sure.  My wife, Michelle, doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like.

Hehe An oldie but a goodie!
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! Jehanne 10 3504 April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm
Last Post: arewethereyet
  A sacred joke. Mystic 15 4392 January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke Brian37 1 1945 May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! Minimalist 3 2981 October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm
Last Post: Zidneya
  Joke Minimalist 59 21354 June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am
Last Post: Ravenshire
  A little joke Sup 11 5504 April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Evolution (is a) joke JesusLover1 12 10218 March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Preacher joke 02 Drich 2 2345 February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am
Last Post: NoraBrimstone
  Preacher joke 01 Drich 8 5518 January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am
Last Post: Drich
  Make Up An Atheist Joke freedomfromforum 5 3450 October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am
Last Post: Angrboda



Users browsing this thread: 3 Guest(s)