Americas child death shame

[Bad Writer]

I have a friend who is saving up to sue for custody of his daughter for similar reasons. It's expensive, but you might want to consider it.

I'm still reeling after a $20,000 divorce that only ended March last year. I am building a case though, so there is hope for the future.

[thesummerqueen]

I'm pretty sure my friend will have to wait another 2 years while he lives like a pauper and saves up - just keep hanging in there.

[Doubting Thomas]

Acquaintance: "I thought the kids would keep us together." (You thought WRONG!)

I absolutely fucking HATE this idea. Women, please listen up: If you and your man are having relationship troubles, and it looks like he wants to leave, having a child will NOT keep you together and make everything all better. It will only result in another child being brought up in a broken home.

Same goes for any man who thinks this way, but most of the time it's the women who think their man will change his mind and become a loving husband and doting father if she pops out his kid.

As far as parenthood in general goes, do what you want, not what you think is expected of you. If you don't want kids, don't have them. Raising children is hard work and you have to give of yourself, so don't expect things to remain the same after you have kids. Your life will be dominated by small smelly humans who drop food all over the house, make a lot of noise, and depend on you for EVERYTHING. And I guarantee that when you're tired and want to take a nap, they won't be.

I love our kids, but I got snipped after the second one. My wife still has pangs of "I'd like to have another one" but my mind is made up. I know I don't have the patience for 3, and definitely don't want to start over with a new baby.

---

If you ever want to enact revenge on the kids' parents, buy the kids noisy musical instruments and puppies.

Any new toy these days will suffice. I challenge anyone to find a toy which is not an electronic noisemaker.

[Faith No More]

Acquaintance: "I thought the kids would keep us together." (You thought WRONG!)

I absolutely fucking HATE this idea. Women, please listen up: If you and your man are having relationship troubles, and it looks like he wants to leave, having a child will NOT keep you together and make everything all better. It will only result in another child being brought up in a broken home.

I have seen this one first hand, and it is quite sad.

[The Grand Nudger]

I know I don't have the patience for 3, and definitely don't want to start over with a new baby.

Rgr that, I thought I had the patience for 8 or so once upon a time. But right around 3 I started to have my doubts. By 5 in I was like "fuck this - which one of us is getting fixed?".

[Bad Writer]

5? I hope you live on a farm.

[KichigaiNeko]

Nothing wrong with small s selfishness. I'm glad I only had two. Both were demanding of my time and still are to a degree. For all that I am so proud of them and love them dearly I am also proud of the fact that they are getting very independent. Which = more ME time!

[Mystical]

When I was a kid the neighbor kid showed up naked at our door one day. He was 5. And there was a foot of snow outside.. his little brother was on the lake walkin on the melting ice. So my mom called child services (of course after getting the 4yr old off the lake). A few months later naked kid showed up again. Mom took him up the hill to his house where his mom was passed out on drugs and alcohol. The baby was ontop of the gas stove and the house reaked of gas. Mom called child services again. Nothing ever did come of it. That woman still had those kids when we moved away.. that was Colorado 2 decades ago.
A few years ago I had a friend from childhood who come to find out had been on meth the entirety of her childs 4yr life. Her husband too. So I made the hardest call if my life, child services. She called me complaining the neighbors had called her in and the state kindly requested drug screenings which she declined and that was that. No more was done. So I called her mama and boy that was what straightened out everything. Now the dad has a job and the mom is in college! Apparently there's no preventative care available. Unless the kid is physically harmed no h arm no foul? That's the vibe I get.
In kansas growing up I went to school with a girl whose moms boyfriend had smothered her so she was mentally impaired. She had 3 siblings. My mom befriended her mom and that lady fed the kids in a rotating schedule. If its your turn to eat you eat that day. We gave her groceries a lot.. but in the end just called child welfare. She did drugs.
I had a friend in elementary who died along with her brother in a car accident. Their mom survived, she was drunk.
I had the best friend in middle school and I kept riding her and riding her to let me come to her house and finally she did. The place had no electricity and trash and clothes piles we had to crawl over to get to her room, which was neat and organized. I didn't even see her parents there all night. That town was renowned for meth.
You can pick out an abused kid a mile away. I think its a failure on the school system for not identifying them. Its the only place all kids are required to go. You know there's not a single place to go to drug or alcohol counseling and detox that's free? The government needs to stop spending millions on the war on drugs and focus on the war on sanity. Drug and alcohol use will go down as a result, because in essence Americans are self medicating for lack of another choice.

[thesummerqueen]

The government needs to stop spending millions on the war on drugs and focus on the war on sanity. Drug and alcohol use will go down as a result, because in essence Americans are self medicating for lack of another choice.

Amen.

[Doubting Thomas]

The strange part is that with 2 kids, and even though I help out as much as possible and am (she has said) a great dad to our kids, my wife often gets stressed out with our two children and they drain her (and my) energy, but she occasionally has second thoughts about my vasectomy. Even though her birth control made her crazy (she said that it made her hate me) and we realized it was the best thing to do, she isn't 100% sure she doesn't want another child. So she said that she was hoping my tubes would grow back together (the doctor told me that there was about zero chance of that happening) and kind of half-jokingly said she'd pray for that to happen. I told her to give it her best shot.

But I guess my question is why if two children (who are even pretty well-behaved) stress you out, why would you want a third? Been married to her for 13 years and sometimes I still don't understand her mind.