Growing up I thought my family was rich. Shopping at Goodwill for used denim for my sister and then when she used them up passing them down to me was just for kicks. It was done to show people that we weren't attached to this world. Making Christmas presents out of play dough and placing them under a foot high tree in our living room was thoughtful, not pathetic. Hunting for clothes my size in a trash bag full of donated clothes that people gave us once a year was not weird, it was a blessing. Kids making fun of us for calling our denim "Levis" was strange. What was so funny about it? I wouldn't know, because I never used the real thing. Still, I thought we were rich. When I saw poor people I felt empathy and wanted to help them. Poor things, if only I could give them some of that money that my parents had overflowing back at home. When my dad pinched my arm for screaming, "Oh my god, we're rich," as we walked out of the market after he cashed his 100 dollar pay check, I thought it was for not being humble, instead of embarrassment. I never even noticed that when I saw things in the TV commercials it never crossed my mind to ask my parents to buy it. I knew we couldn't have it, but I didn't know that I knew, if that makes sense. I didn't want to upset my parents by asking for things and making them feel bad, but I didn't know I felt this, if this makes sense. When I saw my dad buy canned foods and give them away, I thought, "Wow. I'm so happy we are rich enough to help the needy."
I grew up one day, began working, paying bills, and discovered that we had always been dirt poor. It wasn't that I couldn't go on the fieldtrip because it was too dangerous and sinful, it was because we couldn't afford the ticket. It wasn't that I couldn't go to Toys R Us because it was a sin to over indulge, it was because we had no money.
Fuck. My childhood was a lie!
My brother always thought aunt Carmen loved us all equally. We always got equal amounts of money when she visited. That's what he thought. Truth is that once she left, my mom made my sister and me split the money in order for my brother to have some as well. Aunt Carmen seems to not have cared much for my brother.
I was to eat only purple grapes, because I was allergic to the green ones. Truth is my sister liked the green ones too much to share.
If I rolled my eyes back too much when talking to my mother, they would stay like that forever.
God was real.
So, what lies did you live with?
I grew up one day, began working, paying bills, and discovered that we had always been dirt poor. It wasn't that I couldn't go on the fieldtrip because it was too dangerous and sinful, it was because we couldn't afford the ticket. It wasn't that I couldn't go to Toys R Us because it was a sin to over indulge, it was because we had no money.
Fuck. My childhood was a lie!
My brother always thought aunt Carmen loved us all equally. We always got equal amounts of money when she visited. That's what he thought. Truth is that once she left, my mom made my sister and me split the money in order for my brother to have some as well. Aunt Carmen seems to not have cared much for my brother.
I was to eat only purple grapes, because I was allergic to the green ones. Truth is my sister liked the green ones too much to share.
If I rolled my eyes back too much when talking to my mother, they would stay like that forever.
God was real.
So, what lies did you live with?
Pointing around: "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, I'm out!"
Half Baked
"Let the atheists come to me, and stop keeping them away, because the kingdom of heathens belongs to people like these." -Saint Bacon
Half Baked
"Let the atheists come to me, and stop keeping them away, because the kingdom of heathens belongs to people like these." -Saint Bacon
