Get In The Ark Before It Is Too Late!!!

[max-greece]

The ark is a picture of Christ.

What? You have a boat called Jesus?

I wish, if I could, grab you'll by the wrist and drag you into the ark and save you from the coming destruction, but I can't. All I can do is plead you enter before the door closes.

It is obvious I am having a really "cute guy" day. This is the second gay offer I've had today and it isn't even 7 pm.

[Cyberman]

It's not often that I get to be called cool, irl anyway. I'm honoured. Flattered. And aroused.

Just a query, though. In what way am I deceived, and who (if anyone) has been doing the deceiving? To what purpose?

That's not three queries, btw. It's a Trinity - three in one. Like the oil.

[One Above All]

Rev 6:1 Now I watched when the Lamb opened one of the seven seals, and I heard one of the four living creatures say with a voice like thunder, "Come!"
Rev 6:2 And I looked, and behold, a white horse! And its rider had a bow, and a crown was given to him, and he came out conquering, and to conquer.
Rev 6:3 When he opened the second seal, I heard the second living creature say, "Come!"
Rev 6:4 And out came another horse, bright red. Its rider was permitted to take peace from the earth, so that people should slay one another, and he was given a great sword.
Rev 6:5 When he opened the third seal, I heard the third living creature say, "Come!" And I looked, and behold, a black horse! And its rider had a pair of scales in his hand.
Rev 6:6 And I heard what seemed to be a voice in the midst of the four living creatures, saying, "A quart of wheat for a denarius, and three quarts of barley for a denarius, and do not harm the oil and wine!"
Rev 6:7 When he opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, "Come!"
Rev 6:8 And I looked, and behold, a pale horse! And its rider's name was Death, and Hades followed him. And they were given authority over a fourth of the earth, to kill with sword and with famine and with pestilence and by wild beasts of the earth.

Thanks. As usual, Death is the most badass of the Horsemen. I guess the Bible's good for something after all, aside from toilet paper, burning, target practice, and other destructive ends.

[RobbyPants]

Just a query, though. In what way am I deceived, and who (if anyone) has been doing the deceiving? To what purpose?

Presumably, you're deceived by The Deceiver. Rev can tell, because you don't buy into the exact same non-falsifiable belief system that he does.

That's what The Deceiver does: he makes it so people don't believe one very specific non-falsifiable belief. He doesn't care about the other infinite number of similar beliefs. He's sneaky like that. The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing Christians he has phenomenal cosmic powers, as evidence by how they started writing about him in the New Testament.

[Bob Kelso]

Dearest Atheist Friends,
Jesus warned us of how things would be at the end of the age.

Yes, vague messages that could describe basically any time after the agricultural revolution are a sure fire way to know when the end is coming.

We are now living in that time and things are going to continue to grow worse and worse.

Nigh on every generation says this.

I believe that many of you will experience the Tribulation Period within your lifetime.

Such drivel has been uttered by nearly every Christian generation, though some followed that up with "Die, infidel!" so you're markedly better.

Trust me you don't want to be there. Please repent of your sins and place your faith in Christ before it is too late. Enter into Ark before the rains come.
Your Concerned Christian Friend,
Rev777

"Blah, blah blah, proselytizing bullshittery, blah, blah, blah."

Try a new format mate, this shit is about 2000 years old.

---

Anyway, I plan to be in an iron chariot. God can't touch me.

Goddammit Stim, I was going to say that.

[Cyberman]

That's why “God“ is powerless against hell, since it's supposedly at the centre of the Earth where there's a fuck-off core of iron: God's kryptonite.

[Cyberman]

Incidentally, is it just me who sees this thread title and hears Arnie going “Get to da choppah!“ ?

[Tonus]

Incidentally, is it just me who sees this thread title and hears Arnie going “Get to da choppah!“ ?

Not just you.

[ShaMan]

Incidentally, is it just me who sees this thread title and hears Arnie going “Get to da choppah!“ ?

[Wyrd of Gawd]

Serious question rev. When God created the animals, he saw that they were good. Man fell, no longer good. So why did he kill all the good animals along with the bad people? Why not make it a species specific apocalypse?

The Noah ark story is actually about the Assyrian or Babylonian army sweeping through the area kicking ass and taking names. They ruled the area for centuries. Only insane people believe in an actual world-wide flood of real water.