I am now one seriously conflicted Atheist.. Help???

[LostDays]

Hello everyone, I am totally new here but I am really hoping I can get some feedback from some people about some really crazy things that have been happening to me lately.

I don't want to bore anyone with a super long post so I will do my best to keep it as short as possible.

First I will just start out letting everyone know I am 25 years old and I am an Atheist. I have always been pretty dead set in my views but after a few things that have happened recently, I honestly don't know what to believe anymore and it is seriously causing me a lot of problems.

I recently found out that my biological Father passed away May 29 2014.. I ended up finding out exactly one month later.. June 29 2014. What is bothering me.. is the way I found out.

Some quick background information: I have been estranged from my Father and his side of the family ever since I was 13 years old. I also want to mention that because I am now 25 years old, since so much time has passed, I honestly never thought about my Father very much.. I had put that all behind me.. Until now!

I woke up June 29th after having an insanely vivid dream about him.. again, because so much time has passed since I last saw him, I didn't think about him much anymore, so the dream kind of caught me off guard as I have never really had dreams about him. The weird thing about this dream was that my Father had told me to check the obituaries?! So almost immediately upon waking up, almost instinctual, a feeling I can't even explain. I grabbed my phone and Googled his name. With a bit of searching it didn't take me long... There his name was, there his obituary was. I was pretty speechless.

Now the mind blowing thing about all of this... is I got on the phone to call my Mom to deliver the news to her, and before I could even finish speaking she interrupted me and had told me she already knew, and had known for a few weeks now, but because of everything I had been dealing with, she said she didn't know the right way to break the news to me, and she said she didn't know how the news would impact me either.... (I've been dealing with really severe health issues the last few years and was going through a really rough period a few months ago) so she told me she was waiting for a more stable moment in my life to be able to tell me...

She isn't religious but she said a little prayer in her mind, that if there was ever a way for my Father to be able to tell me himself, that he needed to find a way for she couldn't bare to do it herself right now. She said it was the least he could do since I never got to have a relationship with him and was never able to get to know him or have a final goodbye. I honestly couldn't believe what I was hearing when she was telling me this.... My Father had found a way to tell me about his death through my dreams?! Again...

I am an Atheist and I honestly can't sit here and say that it was all sheer coincidence... There is just NO way... Exactly one month after his death I am having this dream about him and this is how I find out?! I am really wanting to know what all my other fellow Atheist's think about all of this...

[Fidel_Castronaut]

How old was he when he died?, if you don't mind me asking?

Welcome, BTW. :-) sorry to hear about your father. It's not nice when a family member dies even if you weren't that close.

Also did you live in the same town/city? Or in the local vicinity?

[LostDays]

Thank you so much! It's true for sure!

He was around 58 I want to say... and he was living in the same City as me when he passed away. I'm an open book! I'm more than happy to answer any questions! Thanks for taking the time to read my story and reply! I appreciate it!

How old was he when he died?, if you don't mind me asking?

Welcome, BTW. :-) sorry to hear about your father. It's not nice when a family member dies even if you weren't that close.

Also did you live in the same town/city? Or in the local vicinity?

[Bad Wolf]

You had a dream about him an entire month after he died, so what? It's just a coincidence. What would have been impressive is if you had dreamt about him the day he died.

[ManMachine]

Hello everyone,

---

I am totally new here but I am really hoping I can get some feedback from some people about some really crazy things that have been happening to me lately.

I don't want to bore anyone with a super long post so I will do my best to keep it as short as possible.

First I will just start out letting everyone know I am 25 years old and I am an Atheist. I have always been pretty dead set in my views but after a few things that have happened recently, I honestly don't know what to believe anymore and it is seriously causing me a lot of problems.

I recently found out that my biological Father passed away May 29 2014.. I ended up finding out exactly one month later.. June 29 2014. What is bothering me.. is the way I found out.

Some quick background information: I have been estranged from my Father and his side of the family ever since I was 13 years old. I also want to mention that because I am now 25 years old, since so much time has passed, I honestly never thought about my Father very much.. I had put that all behind me.. Until now!

I woke up June 29th after having an insanely vivid dream about him.. again, because so much time has passed since I last saw him, I didn't think about him much anymore, so the dream kind of caught me off guard as I have never really had dreams about him. The weird thing about this dream was that my Father had told me to check the obituaries?! So almost immediately upon waking up, almost instinctual, a feeling I can't even explain. I grabbed my phone and Googled his name. With a bit of searching it didn't take me long... There his name was, there his obituary was. I was pretty speechless.

Now the mind blowing thing about all of this... is I got on the phone to call my Mom to deliver the news to her, and before I could even finish speaking she interrupted me and had told me she already knew, and had known for a few weeks now, but because of everything I had been dealing with, she said she didn't know the right way to break the news to me, and she said she didn't know how the news would impact me either.... (I've been dealing with really severe health issues the last few years and was going through a really rough period a few months ago) so she told me she was waiting for a more stable moment in my life to be able to tell me...

She isn't religious but she said a little prayer in her mind, that if there was ever a way for my Father to be able to tell me himself, that he needed to find a way for she couldn't bare to do it herself right now. She said it was the least he could do since I never got to have a relationship with him and was never able to get to know him or have a final goodbye. I honestly couldn't believe what I was hearing when she was telling me this.... My Father had found a way to tell me about his death through my dreams?! Again...

I am an Atheist and I honestly can't sit here and say that it was all sheer coincidence... There is just NO way... Exactly one month after his death I am having this dream about him and this is how I find out?! I am really wanting to know what all my other fellow Atheist's think about all of this...

---

There is nothing here that is particularly unusual or impossible to explain.

I'm assuming you communicate with your mother, who already knew the sad news. Even though there was no direct communication it is still entirely possible for you to pick signals up. Only 10% of communication is actually the words we use and despite what most people think humans are excellent at reading each other. Even in just a phone call you can pick up things like tone, vibrato, pitch change, stress, etc.

Also we use our dreams to process the mass of information we gather, making sense of subconsciously received signals and signs, so it makes perfect sense that you could have picked up the signals warning you that something was impending from you mother or anyone else that knew and that you processed this information which you remember as a dream.

No weirdness required.

However, if you need to believe in a god or something supernatural (and it is known to be a useful mechanism in times of stress) then perhaps you are looking for something supernatural to justify that need.

Either way, don't worry, it will pass.

MM

[pocaracas]

Well, well, well... another lost soul! yummy!

Welcome to the forum!
Enjoy your time here.

Now, your story... I'm sorry for your dad... 58 is way too young. It is also a pity that you couldn't be with him for much of your life, but such are the ways of people.

The dream... Would it have been more spectacular if it had happened 1 day after, or 1 week after?... or 1 year? Is there any special significance on the month mark?
Dreams are commonly thought as the subconscious reordering of the brain for long term storage of information... could you have overheard something from your mother or someone else that you didn't consciously understand, but remained in there, until your sub got a hold of that little piece of sensory data and brought it to your attention?

Dreams are in your mind.

[LostLocke]

Also keep in mind that, given that there is anything "special" attached to this event, it still shouldn't have any bearing on your atheism.
At most, it would make you question your 'spirituality'.

There are potential psuedo-scientific explanations for this.... mental data imprinting, electro-magnetic wave functions, etc that some use.
And there are supernatural explanations... ghosts, spirits, souls of the dead, etc.
But none of these automatically invoke a deity or god for them to work. And that's all atheism really is.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Sorry about your dad's death. I too was estranged from my biological father for years. We'd started repairing the damage but our relationship was too far gone, and he stopped returning calls, meeting with me, and so on, so I wrote him out of my life. It sucks and leaves a big open spot inside you. Make your peace with it and move on.

As for the dream and whatnot, I don't know what might have been said around you, or what-have-you, but the idea above that you may have overheard something seems plausible. Or perhaps you just hadn't seen him in a while and your mind was on him?

[Alex K]

Welcome, and condolences for your curious loss. I can't add much to what's been said, it was a month after it happened and you possibly picked up a vibe from your mom, who knew. You may have dreamt about your father before, but did not act on it and forgot again because your mom was sending different signals and you were in better health.

[Well Rounded Rectangle]

Check the obituaries?
Hocus pocus bullshit in focus
If I get a chance to send words to my girls after I'm dead I hope I manage something better than that.
I am an atheist to to to.