Posts: 46320
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
November 8, 2014 at 3:03 pm
(November 7, 2014 at 9:09 am)Little lunch Wrote: Just found out my wife has multiple personality disorder.
Just my luck, not one of them likes giving blowjobs.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I have multiple personalities,
And so do I.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 46320
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
November 8, 2014 at 7:33 pm
I just saw a news story about an American cowboy who covered himself in butcher paper.
He was arrested for rustling.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 25314
Threads: 239
Joined: August 26, 2010
Reputation:
156
RE: joke time
November 16, 2014 at 8:27 pm
I set up a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats.
Prophets are going through the roof.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
Posts: 25314
Threads: 239
Joined: August 26, 2010
Reputation:
156
RE: joke time
November 18, 2014 at 2:05 pm
The inventor of predictive text has died.
His funfair will be hello on Sundial.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
Posts: 35310
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
146
RE: joke time
November 19, 2014 at 10:15 pm
(This post was last modified: November 19, 2014 at 10:15 pm by The Valkyrie.)
An old couple has been known to have violent, verbally abusive, face to face fights their entire married life. Still they remain married.
One day, during a particular nasty fight the old man screams, "If I die first I'm going to dig my way out of my grave and come out and haunt you!"
So, a couple of months later he drops dead suddenly.
After the funeral, his widow is in the bar celebrating her great luck.
The barman walks over and says, "Aren't you afraid he'll dig his way out of his grave and come back to haunt you?"
"Let him dig," she laughs, "I buried the old bastard face down!"
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Posts: 80
Threads: 9
Joined: January 12, 2009
Reputation:
1
RE: joke time
November 20, 2014 at 11:57 pm
I'm not sure if this has been posted already, but:
Q: How many Satanists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Let darkness reign!
Posts: 912
Threads: 5
Joined: September 4, 2014
Reputation:
4
RE: joke time
November 26, 2014 at 2:16 pm
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I know where you live,
And I am coming to get you.