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RE: joke time
May 12, 2015 at 10:49 am
I love my FedEx guy cause he's a drug dealer and he doesn't even know it — and he's always on time.
CHRISTIANITY: The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
Makes perfect sense.
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
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RE: joke time
May 12, 2015 at 7:15 pm
Guaranteed or your money back.
You make people miserable and there's nothing they can do about it, just like god.
-- Homer Simpson
God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion.
-- Superintendent Chalmers
Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends. There are some things we don't want to know. Important things.
-- Ned Flanders
Once something's been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral.
-- The Rev Lovejoy
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RE: joke time
May 13, 2015 at 10:35 am
What does Batman yell when he runs through his house?
Nana nana nana nana ME!
CHRISTIANITY: The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
Makes perfect sense.
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
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RE: joke time
May 14, 2015 at 5:22 pm
I was on pornhub earlier and a popup appeared, saying "lonely singles in your area". It was just a photo of me.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
May 14, 2015 at 8:37 pm
Hehe.
I bet the wife doesn't regret the amputation!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: joke time
May 18, 2015 at 10:16 am
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss.
CHRISTIANITY: The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
Makes perfect sense.
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
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RE: joke time
May 19, 2015 at 8:30 pm
Tips for giving a good hand-job.
1. Put it in your mouth.
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RE: joke time
May 19, 2015 at 10:00 pm
Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day. Give a dog a toffee and you'll piss yourself laughing for an hour.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
