Cheesy jokes!

[theVOID]

Why did the housewife cross the road?

Domestic violence.

[blood_pardon]

This man and a giraffe walk into a bar. They sit their a while drinking some beer, and hour or two goes by and the giraffe lays down and falls asleep. The guy finishes his beer and starts to leave.
"Hey", the bartender says. "you cant just leave that lyin' there"
The guy looks at him and says "its not a lion its a giraffe" and turns around and leaves.

[theVOID]

Two men walk into a bar - In other news, the share price for Aspirin reaches an all time high.

[Dotard]

Q: Want to hear a funny joke?
A: Women's Rights

Q: Why can't women drive?
A: No road between the kitchen and bedroom.

Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
A: Nothing, somebody already told her twice.

Q: Why did God make women?
A: You think he's gonna wash the dishes? Aw HELL No!

Q: How do you know when it's time to get a new dishwasher?
A: When the old one expects you to "do your share"

Q: What do you call a woman with pigtails?
A: A ******* with handlebars!

Q: How long does it take for a man to make dinner?
A: As long as it takes for him to get out the belt!

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Trick question, feminists can't change anything!

Q:Why does every man need a woman?
A:Because the dishes would get to piled up without one.

Question: What is the difference between a woman and a catfish?
Answer: One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.

[Edwardo Piet]

I wish to be in the Guinness World Records for the creator of the worst joke of all time. That doesn't even work. Shittest joke ever. I created it a few years ago I must have been 'proper mental' as us Brits would say.

Note: You won't get the joke if you are unfamiliar with 'Jaffa Cakes' and the story/play/movie 'Aladdin'.

Here it is. It is most certainly as far from "Epic" as one could get:

"What is the last name of Jafar from Aladdin? Cake. Jafar Cake."

'Proper cringe' hopefully. It's the shittest thing ever.

[theVOID]

It doesn't even count as a joke, it's a question with a false answer.

It's like: "What is the last name of Dick from high fidelity? Head. Dick Head" But we don't actually know his name...

Unless his last name is actually Cake, in which case Disney came up with it first.

[Edwardo Piet]

Exactly, it's that shit that it completely fails as a joke. But that's the joke. It's an anti-joke. And a shit one at that.

[The Omnissiunt One]

Here are some I made up:

'I'm a casual drug user. When I'm shooting up, I never wear a suit.'

'Did you hear about the escaped murderer who doesn't keep up with current affairs?' 'No.' 'Aha! It's you!'

'Immaculate conception is where you don't get semen on the bedsheets.'

'I've been singing for seven years now. My voice is really sore.'

'I've been learning an instrument for seven years, and I've only just learnt how to pick it up! Mind you, it is the piano.'

'Once, I had a near death experience. There was a sort of black tunnel with light at the other end... I nearly suffocated with my head stuck in that cucket.'

[Edwardo Piet]

My mum whenever she's grating cheese has referred to such an activity as "great" on more than one occasion.

And I doubt she actually particularly enjoys grating cheese. It's just an opportunity for a lame pun. Yay!

[Rayaan]

What's the difference between cheesy jokes and corny jokes?