The GOP presidential candidates.
Dying to live, living to die.
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Current time: May 15, 2024, 10:13 am
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joke time
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 (September 22, 2015 at 10:18 pm)Beccs Wrote: The GOP presidential candidates. There is not one thing funny about those...people. 
A Christian told me: if you were saved you cant lose your salvation. you're sealed with the Holy Ghost
I replied: Can I refuse? Because I find the entire concept of vicarious blood sacrifice atonement to be morally abhorrent, the concept of holding flawed creatures permanently accountable for social misbehaviors and thought crimes to be morally abhorrent, and the concept of calling something "free" when it comes with the strings of subjugation and obedience perhaps the most morally abhorrent of all... and that's without even going into the history of justifying genocide, slavery, rape, misogyny, religious intolerance, and suppression of free speech which has been attributed by your own scriptures to your deity. I want a refund. I would burn happily rather than serve the monster you profess to love.  (September 22, 2015 at 10:12 pm)Stimbo Wrote: I chatted up this bird in the pub and ended up walking her home. We got to her door and I said, "Well, are you going to invite me in for a fuck?" You take the prize with that one. 
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers. Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities. --Voltaire Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind. (September 23, 2015 at 3:10 am)TheRocketSurgeon Wrote:(September 22, 2015 at 10:18 pm)Beccs Wrote: The GOP presidential candidates. a magnanimous nom de plume.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers. Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities. --Voltaire Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind. 
I like my women the way I like my turtles.
Teenage, mutated and helpless on their back.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
(September 23, 2015 at 2:18 pm)Stimbo Wrote: I like my women the way I like my turtles. Guess you won't like me then, because I will leave YOU helpless when I'm on my back.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers. Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities. --Voltaire Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Joe lost his job.
Joe: Please God, I’ve lost my job. Let me win the lottery or I’m going to lose my car. But when the number came in somebody else had won. So Joe got back on his knees. Joe: God please. I’ve lost my job and my car. Let me win the lottery or I’m going to lose my house. Again the numbers came in and Joe didn’t have it. Desperate Joe lit a candle, genuflected, tithed 40% at churched, dedicated his only daughter to life-long choir duty and sacrificed 3 Butterball turkeys on an altar. All to no avail. Joe: God, I’ve lost my job, my car, my house and my family is starving. Don’t you care? I’m a good Christian. What do I have to do to get an answer from you? I might as well be an atheist for all the good praying to you does. Why can’t you see what’s happening in my life? Suddenly, the clouds opened up and a voice boomed down from Heaven. God: Hey Joe, meet me half-way, will ya. Buy a ticket. I will give one rep each to the first three people who can give me the best rendition of a classic Minimalist response to this level of idiocy. One a piece and no repeats.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers. Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities. --Voltaire Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind. (September 23, 2015 at 3:27 pm)Rhondazvous Wrote:(September 23, 2015 at 2:18 pm)Stimbo Wrote: I like my women the way I like my turtles. I'm liking the use of that "will".
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
 (September 23, 2015 at 3:38 pm)Stimbo Wrote:(September 23, 2015 at 3:27 pm)Rhondazvous Wrote: Guess you won't like me then, because I will leave YOU helpless when I'm on my back. Just let me get over there. The Queen will honor you with knighthood. She'll dub you Sir Laid-a-Lot.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers. Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities. --Voltaire Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind. |
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