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joke time
RE: joke time
(April 24, 2016 at 8:11 am)Rhondazvous Wrote:
(April 24, 2016 at 7:09 am)Little lunch Wrote: Pleonasm - is the additional and extra use of added, spare, unnecessary, redundant (superfluous or surplus), unneeded, and uncalled-for words in addition to, and on top of, what is necessary or essential or required or obligatory or vital or requisite or crucial.
Could you give us an example?

How about being hired to work at The Department of Redundancy Department?

Or even the international, crossborder campaign movement to Stamp Out And Abolish Redundancy?

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
If your vehicle breaks down and you take it to a mechanic, is that a form of autocorrect?
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RE: joke time
Why do you chop a tree down - then chop it up?
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful. — Edward Gibbon

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RE: joke time
I think my GPS is broken. I can find Fort Bragg with it, but why cant I find Fortitude?
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RE: joke time
Why do they call it plaster of Paris? What if you don't live in Paris?
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RE: joke time
Why do they call it "hearsay"? What if the person is deaf? Would it be "typesay" or "Braillesay" "Or signsay"?
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RE: joke time
I got arrested, but the rooms in the jail were crescent shaped, I died shortly after.
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RE: joke time
My aid dog got kicked off the subway for being too loud. Well, he was a sub woofer.
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RE: joke time
There is a two-letter word in English that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is “UP.”

It is listed in the dictionary as being used as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].

It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends and we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has a real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

And this up is confusing:

A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets UP the earth. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP.

"Study up" on its more proper uses.

"Build up" a list of the many ways "up" is used. It could "take up" a lot of your time, but don't "give up".

"Bring up" your usable slang and "think up" more expressions with up. Such slang is not trivial, "face up" to the facts that it is sometimes used everywhere by a billion English speakers.

"Wake up.", I said, yawning.
"Get up!" for the new day.
"Perk up" some coffee or "brew up" your morning tea. "Eat up..."
"Speed up" to avoid being late.
"Open up" the business in the morning.
"Meet up" with the committee or your class and then a topic "comes up?"
Your committee's chairman is "up for election".
"Mix up" the others by not "shutting up" when you should:
"Speak up" about that so important matter.
"Stir up" a big argument with your suggestions.
"Write up" a report.
"Make up" your mind to "keep up" your duties.
"Polish up" your presentation.
"Close up" your activities at night.
"Call up" one of your old friends.
"Brighten up" his or her day by "cutting up" a little.
"Patch up" a "broken up" relationship.
"Catch up" with your home work and chores.
"Wash up" for dinner.
"Work up" your appetite.
"Warm up" leftovers and "chew it up well, swallow it up".
"Think up" excuses that you "ate up" everything in sight; then "clean up" the kitchen.
"Open up" a drain because it is "stopped up".
"Lock up" the house before bedtime.
"Rack up" some sack time and cut some "zzz's" (snore).
"Fix up" your old car on your day off.
"Jack up" your old car and your mood, and do a check up on both.
"Keep up" with the neighbors by purchasing a new car.
"Throw up" and "look up" your doctors phone number.
"Check up" on the weather report when it "clouds up", and then it "clears up".
"Soak up" some sun rays, but don't "burn up", and when it does not rain, things may "dry up".
"Wrap up"... "time's up"!

One could go on & on, but I’ll wrap it UP, for now as my time is UP, so time to shut UP!
You make people miserable and there's nothing they can do about it, just like god.
-- Homer Simpson

God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion.
-- Superintendent Chalmers

Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends. There are some things we don't want to know. Important things.
-- Ned Flanders

Once something's been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral.
-- The Rev Lovejoy
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RE: joke time
[Image: zt536625da.jpg]
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




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