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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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joke time
Little lunch Offline
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#1321
RE: joke time
June 25, 2016 at 3:05 am
Why did the arm cross the road?


Cause it was severed in a car accident.


I made that one up. Everybody, carry on.
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chimp3 Offline Donators
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#1322
RE: joke time
June 25, 2016 at 5:16 am
Shortest joke I know :

A baby seal walks into a club ...
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!






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downbeatplumb Offline
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#1323
RE: joke time
June 25, 2016 at 6:12 am
(June 25, 2016 at 5:16 am)chimp3 Wrote: Shortest joke I know :

A baby seal walks into a club ...

Singing in a high pitched voice "but we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy"



You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.

Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.




 








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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#1324
RE: joke time
June 25, 2016 at 6:21 am
(June 25, 2016 at 5:16 am)chimp3 Wrote: Shortest joke I know :

A baby seal walks into a club ...

Longer version, same theme:

A baby Harp seal galumphs into a bar. The barman says, 'What'll you have?' and the seal says, 'Anything but a Canadian club.'

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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Rhondazvous Offline
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#1325
RE: joke time
June 26, 2016 at 11:11 am
An American general, a Russian general and a Chinese general were standing around bragging about how brave their respective soldiers were.
Russian General: I have the bravest soldiers.
Chinese General: No, I have the bravest soldiers.
American General: Prove it.

So the Chinese general called one of his soldiers and told him to jump off a 100 foot cliff. Which he does.
Chinese: There!

Then the Russian general told one of his soldiers to jump off the cliff. Which he did.
Russian: There!

Not wanting to be outdone, the American general told one of his soldiers to jump off the cliff.
American soldier: What! Are you out of your fucking mind? I came here to fight a fucking war, not to throw my life away so you could win a fucking bet with your silly-assed friends.

As the American soldier walks away muttering about fucktard generals the American general turns to his colleagues and says: "Now that’s brave."
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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chimp3 Offline Donators
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#1326
RE: joke time
June 27, 2016 at 8:58 am
Blonde identical twins sitting across the room from each other. First twin says "Come over here." Second twin says "I am over there."
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!






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Little lunch Offline
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#1327
RE: joke time
June 27, 2016 at 9:01 am
(June 27, 2016 at 8:58 am)chimp3 Wrote: Blonde identical twins sitting across the room from each other. First twin says "Come over here." Second twin says "I am over there."

I don't know why, but I'm picturing these twins in the nude and hot as fuck.
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Minimalist Offline Donators
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#1328
RE: joke time
June 28, 2016 at 4:47 pm
[Image: can-you-believe-it.jpg]
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brewer Offline Donators
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#1329
RE: joke time
June 28, 2016 at 5:36 pm
(June 28, 2016 at 4:47 pm)Minimalist Wrote: [Image: can-you-believe-it.jpg]

Is that poop on her index finger nail?
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.
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Rhondazvous Offline
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#1330
RE: joke time
June 29, 2016 at 5:57 pm
(June 28, 2016 at 5:36 pm)mh.brewer Wrote: Is that poop on her index finger nail?
A man was eating a hotdog at an outdoor bbq when his wife asked him to hold their baby while she turned the burgers on the grill. when she finished she took the baby back. Then the man noticed that he had mustard on his fingers and licked it off.
Man: Oh Yuck! I thought that was mustard.
Wife: Why do you think they call it poopon?
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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