Posts: 3676
Threads: 354
Joined: April 12, 2015
Reputation:
42
RE: joke time
April 16, 2017 at 9:10 am
(April 15, 2017 at 12:49 pm)Brian37 Wrote: (April 15, 2017 at 12:03 pm)Rhondazvous Wrote: Well, I'm sure you can still jump if you put your mind to it.
You'd make a lousy victim's advocate. I know you really want to believe Casper was a kind good ghost, but the jury convicted him and we have is cartoon DNA to prove it.  Yea. Devil's advocate is my forte. Across the street from me is a house haunted by Casper the holy ghost. He tried to kidnap me, but as an atheist I'm kinda immune to that crap.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire
Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Posts: 30673
Threads: 2117
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation:
71
RE: joke time
April 16, 2017 at 9:23 am
(April 16, 2017 at 9:10 am)Rhondazvous Wrote: (April 15, 2017 at 12:49 pm)Brian37 Wrote: You'd make a lousy victim's advocate. I know you really want to believe Casper was a kind good ghost, but the jury convicted him and we have is cartoon DNA to prove it. Yea. Devil's advocate is my forte. Across the street from me is a house haunted by Casper the holy ghost. He tried to kidnap me, but as an atheist I'm kinda immune to that crap.
Oh great, next thing you are going to tell me is Scooby Doo is just a cartoon. I hate atheists, I am glad I am not one......Oh wait....never mind.....
Posts: 3676
Threads: 354
Joined: April 12, 2015
Reputation:
42
RE: joke time
April 16, 2017 at 12:49 pm
(April 16, 2017 at 9:23 am)Brian37 Wrote: (April 16, 2017 at 9:10 am)Rhondazvous Wrote: Yea. Devil's advocate is my forte. Across the street from me is a house haunted by Casper the holy ghost. He tried to kidnap me, but as an atheist I'm kinda immune to that crap.
Oh great, next thing you are going to tell me is Scooby Doo is just a cartoon. I hate atheists, I am glad I am not one......Oh wait....never mind..... ![[Image: ?token=909-415&url=https%3A%2F%2Fs-media...7418883225]](https://www.pinterest.com/offsite/?token=909-415&url=https%3A%2F%2Fs-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com%2Foriginals%2Fe9%2F06%2F64%2Fe906648fa600e3ce891eaeced50d01c7.jpg&pin=30891947418883225)
Atheist are despicable. I was 13 when I first saw this poster and it was not censored.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire
Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Posts: 30673
Threads: 2117
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation:
71
RE: joke time
April 16, 2017 at 12:58 pm
(April 16, 2017 at 12:49 pm)Rhondazvous Wrote: (April 16, 2017 at 9:23 am)Brian37 Wrote: Oh great, next thing you are going to tell me is Scooby Doo is just a cartoon. I hate atheists, I am glad I am not one......Oh wait....never mind.....
Atheist are despicable. I was 13 when I first saw this poster and it was not censored.
Broken link, funny I am sure though. 
Posts: 572
Threads: 2
Joined: October 30, 2009
Reputation:
13
RE: joke time
April 17, 2017 at 1:53 pm
A man wonders if having sex on Good Friday is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. He asks a priest for his opinion on this question. The priest says after consulting the Bible,
"My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive sex is work and is not permitted on Good Friday."
The man thinks:
"What does a priest know about sex?"
He goes to minister, a married man, experienced, for the answer. He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and not for Good Friday! Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority -- a man of thousands of years' tradition and knowledge: a Rabbi.
The Rabbi ponders the question and states,
"My son, sex is definitely play."
The man replies,
"Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?"
The rabbi softly speaks,
"If sex were work, my wife would have allowed the maid to do it."
Posts: 3676
Threads: 354
Joined: April 12, 2015
Reputation:
42
RE: joke time
April 18, 2017 at 12:57 pm
A cop pulled this lady over for speeding and asked to see her license.
Lady: Actually officer, I don't have a license. I was in a hurry when I stole this car and just forgot. The owner won't file charges though because he's dead in the trunk.
The cop thought the lady was nuts and called for back up. The sergeant arrived and demanded the lady open the trunk. When she did it was empty.
Sergeant: Wait a minute. The officer said you had a dead body in the trunk. Let's see your license.
She showed him her license.
Sergeant: The officer said you didn't have a license.
Lady: Did he now? And I'll bet he also said I was speeding.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire
Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Posts: 30673
Threads: 2117
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation:
71
RE: joke time
April 18, 2017 at 3:08 pm
(April 18, 2017 at 12:57 pm)Rhondazvous Wrote: A cop pulled this lady over for speeding and asked to see her license.
Lady: Actually officer, I don't have a license. I was in a hurry when I stole this car and just forgot. The owner won't file charges though because he's dead in the trunk.
The cop thought the lady was nuts and called for back up. The sergeant arrived and demanded the lady open the trunk. When she did it was empty.
Sergeant: Wait a minute. The officer said you had a dead body in the trunk. Let's see your license.
She showed him her license.
Sergeant: The officer said you didn't have a license.
Lady: Did he now? And I'll bet he also said I was speeding.
I have read "God Is Not Great" by Christopher Hitchens. I have read "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins. I have read "The End of Faith" and "Letter To A Christian Nation" by Sam Harris. I have read Victor Stenger's "God The Failed Hypothesis" and "The New Atheism" and this joke makes me feel STOOOOOOOPID. I don't get it. But then again, I am an ABBA fan.
But, just the type of joke I would expect from a fan of Casper. 
Posts: 3676
Threads: 354
Joined: April 12, 2015
Reputation:
42
RE: joke time
April 18, 2017 at 8:03 pm
(April 18, 2017 at 3:08 pm)Brian37 Wrote: (April 18, 2017 at 12:57 pm)Rhondazvous Wrote: A cop pulled this lady over for speeding and asked to see her license.
Lady: Actually officer, I don't have a license. I was in a hurry when I stole this car and just forgot. The owner won't file charges though because he's dead in the trunk.
The cop thought the lady was nuts and called for back up. The sergeant arrived and demanded the lady open the trunk. When she did it was empty.
Sergeant: Wait a minute. The officer said you had a dead body in the trunk. Let's see your license.
She showed him her license.
Sergeant: The officer said you didn't have a license.
Lady: Did he now? And I'll bet he also said I was speeding.
I have read "God Is Not Great" by Christopher Hitchens. I have read "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins. I have read "The End of Faith" and "Letter To A Christian Nation" by Sam Harris. I have read Victor Stenger's "God The Failed Hypothesis" and "The New Atheism" and this joke makes me feel STOOOOOOOPID. I don't get it. But then again, I am an ABBA fan.
But, just the type of joke I would expect from a fan of Casper. This guy will never feel like he's gotten even. Oh well. At least now I know how to irk you when the need arises.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire
Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Posts: 5664
Threads: 219
Joined: June 20, 2016
Reputation:
61
RE: joke time
April 20, 2017 at 9:48 pm
Patient : Give me the bad news first.
MD : You have AIDS.
Patient : Could anything be worse?
MD : Well, you also have Alzheimers disease.
Patient : Thank God! At least I don't have AIDS!
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!
Posts: 3405
Threads: 33
Joined: July 17, 2013
Reputation:
43
RE: joke time
April 26, 2017 at 5:19 am
Why don't hillbillies ever do reverse cowgirl?
"Every luxury has a deep price. Every indulgence, a cosmic cost. Each fiber of pleasure you experience causes equivalent pain somewhere else. This is the first law of emodynamics [sic]. Joy can be neither created nor destroyed. The balance of happiness is constant.
Fact: Every time you eat a bite of cake, someone gets horsewhipped.
Facter: Every time two people kiss, an orphanage collapses.
Factest: Every time a baby is born, an innocent animal is severely mocked for its physical appearance. Don't be a pleasure hog. Your every smile is a dagger. Happiness is murder.
Vote "yes" on Proposition 1321. Think of some kids. Some kids."
|
