Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: April 24, 2024, 6:27 am

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
joke time
RE: joke time
Not to be a downer but this sucks, I want to call/visit my mom and tell her all these jokes.

UGGGG, anyway keep em coming, she would want that.
Reply
RE: joke time
I have a geologist friend whose critical thinking skills aren't the best. He's always taking things for granite.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Reply
RE: joke time
(April 28, 2017 at 2:34 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I have a geologist friend whose critical thinking skills aren't the best. He's always taking things for granite.

Boru

I know that some basketball players can palm a basketball but exactly how the fuck does one pomegranate? Granite is fucking heavy.
Reply
RE: joke time
(April 28, 2017 at 3:57 pm)Brian37 Wrote:
(April 28, 2017 at 2:34 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I have a geologist friend whose critical thinking skills aren't the best. He's always taking things for granite.

Boru

I know that some basketball players can palm a basketball but exactly how the fuck does one pomegranate? Granite is fucking heavy.

*shrug* Schist happens.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Reply
RE: joke time
I hear there's trouble down at the dildo farm.
Fucking squatters.
Reply
RE: joke time
This Red Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look.

"Mom, why is my bigger brother named Thunderstorm?"

She told him, "Because he was conceived during a mighty storm."

Then he asked, "Why is my sister named Cornflower?"

She replied, "Well, your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her."

"And why is my other sister called Moonchild?"

"Because we were watching the moon landing while she was conceived."

Thoughtfully, Mother paused and asked her son, "Tell me, Broken Rubber, why are you so curious?"
Reply
RE: joke time
Today I learned that a school of piranhas can totally skeletonise a child's body in under fifty seconds.

Also, I lost my job at the Sealife Centre.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Reply
RE: joke time
(May 1, 2017 at 3:59 pm)Cyberman Wrote: Today I learned that a school of piranhas can totally skeletonise a child's body in under fifty seconds.

Also, I lost my job at the Sealife Centre.

Um HA HA, I think if you really did that losing your job would be the least of your worries.  Big Grin

Too bad we cant throw an orange asshat in a tank full of piranhas. 

But then again, that would be or should be considered cruelty to piranhas.
Reply
RE: joke time
(April 29, 2017 at 10:53 am)Darinda Wrote: This Red Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look.

"Mom, why is my bigger brother named Thunderstorm?"

She told him, "Because he was conceived during a mighty storm."

Then he asked, "Why is my sister named Cornflower?"

She replied, "Well, your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her."

"And why is my other sister called Moonchild?"

"Because we were watching the moon landing while she was conceived."

Thoughtfully, Mother paused and asked her son, "Tell me, Broken Rubber, why are you so curious?"

This made me laugh more than it should lol
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
Reply
RE: joke time
i made this one up. It's so corny, it will make you cry.

This guy wanted to get a job working for the C.I.A. But they wouldn't allow him to look at the job openings because they were all in the classified ads.

I told you!
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! Jehanne 10 2330 April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm
Last Post: arewethereyet
  A sacred joke. Mystic 15 2757 January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke Brian37 1 1503 May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! Minimalist 3 2359 October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm
Last Post: Zidneya
  Joke Minimalist 59 17096 June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am
Last Post: Ravenshire
  A little joke Sup 11 4307 April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Evolution (is a) joke JesusLover1 12 8995 March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Preacher joke 02 Drich 2 1897 February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am
Last Post: NoraBrimstone
  Preacher joke 01 Drich 8 4510 January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am
Last Post: Drich
  Make Up An Atheist Joke freedomfromforum 5 2891 October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am
Last Post: Angrboda



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)