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Current time: May 13, 2024, 4:49 pm

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joke time
RE: joke time
(October 23, 2020 at 4:51 pm)Brian37 Wrote: Is it just me, or does anyone else get annoyed by cable news stations leaving up "Breaking News" even when the story is hours/days old?

"Breaking News, John F Kennedy has been shot."

"Breaking News, Vesuvius erupted in 79CE."

You might wanna get your headspace checked out ...
"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself — and you are the easiest person to fool." - Richard P. Feynman
Reply
RE: joke time
(October 23, 2020 at 4:51 pm)Brian37 Wrote: Is it just me, or does anyone else get annoyed by cable news stations leaving up "Breaking News" even when the story is hours/days old?

"Breaking News, John F Kennedy has been shot."

"Breaking News, Vesuvius erupted in 79CE."

Some prick shot Kennedy??
Dying to live, living to die.
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RE: joke time
BREAKING NEWS! Newton announces Gravity 2.0™
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: joke time
It's time to put on spray tan, it's time to Tweet and Pout, it's time to lower the curtain on the orange turd tonight. It's time to read the vote count, it won't flip or bounce, Biden is our next president, Trump is crying foul. Why does Fox News still love him, I guess will never know, but then again that network still has Geraldo. Lindsey always loves him, Mitch kisses his ass too, they lost their dear leader, we all know he's through. But now lets get things started, WHY DON'T YOU GET THINGS STARTED, It's insidious no transition, THIS IS WHAT WE CALL TRUMP SHIT SHOW!
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RE: joke time
(November 13, 2020 at 5:30 am)The Valkyrie Wrote:
(October 23, 2020 at 4:51 pm)Brian37 Wrote: Is it just me, or does anyone else get annoyed by cable news stations leaving up "Breaking News" even when the story is hours/days old?

"Breaking News, John F Kennedy has been shot."

"Breaking News, Vesuvius erupted in 79CE."

Some prick shot Kennedy??

Yeah.  It was Ruby Tuesday in a Barnes and Noble.  At least I think so.  I read it on Parler.

But then again, maybe not.  The indica's really kickin' in right now
Disappointing theists since 1968!
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RE: joke time
Wife: ‘Did you go for your check-up today?’

Me: ‘Yes. Doctor asked how I was, and I told him I felt like a 20 year old.’

Wife: ‘What did he say to that?’

Me: ‘He told me to forget about it and go back to my wife.’

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.
He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
“What’s up?” he says.
“I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,”Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted’s hiding in your closet and he’s got no clothes on!”
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.
“You rotten bastard,” says the husband,”my wife’s having a heart attack and you’re running around naked scaring the kids!!!”
Reply
RE: joke time
What did the duck say to the blacksmith?




Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Reply
RE: joke time
Heard about a new sex position called "The Cable Guy," but I don't think I want to try it. Apparently you have to stay in all day, but nobody comes.
Thief and assassin for hire. Member in good standing of the Rogues Guild.
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RE: joke time
My wife told me that I needed to get in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car and then ignored her all day for no reason.

*****

Text exchange:

'Honey, the car is running hot. What should I do?'

'Tell the car you have a headache.'

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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