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RE: joke time
November 26, 2022 at 5:40 pm
Be careful when shopping online.
I ordered a pair of German Shepherds, and now two Amish dudes are building a barn in my back yard!
Dying to live, living to die.
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RE: joke time
November 27, 2022 at 12:51 pm
Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply “It could have been worse.” To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely bad, so terrible, that even Frank could find no hope in it.
On the golf course one day, one of them said, “Frank, did you hear about Tom?”
“He came home last night, found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both and then turned the gun on himself!”
“That’s awful,” said Frank, “but it could have been worse.”
“How in the hell,” asked his bewildered friend, “could it have been worse?”
“Well,” replied Frank, “if it happened the night before, I’d be dead now!”
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RE: joke time
November 28, 2022 at 9:54 pm
(This post was last modified: November 29, 2022 at 7:12 am by The Valkyrie.)
Old friend I haven't seen for a while, "How are things with you?"
Me, "I'm in couples therapy!"
Old friend, "Really?"
Friend I'm with, "Let's be honest. You're seeing a shrink because of the voices in your head. And there's more than one!"
Me, "And Shaz still thinks you're a bitch!!"
Dying to live, living to die.
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RE: joke time
November 30, 2022 at 11:33 pm
One of my fondest childhood memories is making sandcastles with my grandfather.
Until my mother would make me sweep him up and put him back in his urn.
Dying to live, living to die.
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RE: joke time
December 1, 2022 at 10:15 pm
I went and saw an Hispanic magician last night.
Absolutely amazing.
"I will disappear on a count of three!"
"Unos, dos,-"
"Poof!"
Gone without a tres.
Dying to live, living to die.
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RE: joke time
December 2, 2022 at 10:36 pm
Ladies:
Find a man who will laugh with you.
Find a man who will support you.
Find a man who will love you.
And, most important of all, never let those men meet.
Dying to live, living to die.
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RE: joke time
December 3, 2022 at 2:15 pm
What’s the difference between Herschel Walker and a high chair?
A high chair supports children.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
December 3, 2022 at 2:26 pm
(December 3, 2022 at 2:15 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: What’s the difference between Herschel Walker and a high chair?
A high chair supports children.
Boru
Aww hell, Smuggy will be here soon.
“If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.” — Confucius
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RE: joke time
December 3, 2022 at 5:49 pm
This one’s a bit dark:
We’ve decided to name our Christmas tree ‘Amy Winehouse’, because it’s going to die surrounded by needles.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
December 3, 2022 at 5:51 pm
(December 3, 2022 at 2:26 pm)arewethereyet Wrote: (December 3, 2022 at 2:15 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: What’s the difference between Herschel Walker and a high chair?
A high chair supports children.
Boru
Aww hell, Smuggy will be here soon.
Then he’s going to LOVE this one:
What’s the difference between Herschel Walker and Barack Obama?
Herschel Walker has
too many birth certificates.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson