|
joke time
|
Be careful when shopping online.
I ordered a pair of German Shepherds, and now two Amish dudes are building a barn in my back yard! Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" 
Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply “It could have been worse.” To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely bad, so terrible, that even Frank could find no hope in it.
On the golf course one day, one of them said, “Frank, did you hear about Tom?” “He came home last night, found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both and then turned the gun on himself!” “That’s awful,” said Frank, “but it could have been worse.” “How in the hell,” asked his bewildered friend, “could it have been worse?” “Well,” replied Frank, “if it happened the night before, I’d be dead now!” RE: joke time
November 28, 2022 at 9:54 pm
(This post was last modified: November 29, 2022 at 7:12 am by The Valkyrie.)
Old friend I haven't seen for a while, "How are things with you?"
Me, "I'm in couples therapy!" Old friend, "Really?" Friend I'm with, "Let's be honest. You're seeing a shrink because of the voices in your head. And there's more than one!" Me, "And Shaz still thinks you're a bitch!!" Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
One of my fondest childhood memories is making sandcastles with my grandfather.
Until my mother would make me sweep him up and put him back in his urn. Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
I went and saw an Hispanic magician last night.
Absolutely amazing. "I will disappear on a count of three!" "Unos, dos,-" "Poof!" Gone without a tres. Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Ladies:
Find a man who will laugh with you. Find a man who will support you. Find a man who will love you. And, most important of all, never let those men meet. Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" 
What’s the difference between Herschel Walker and a high chair?
A high chair supports children. Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
 (December 3, 2022 at 2:15 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: What’s the difference between Herschel Walker and a high chair? Aww hell, Smuggy will be here soon. ![[Image: MmQV79M.png]](https://i.imgur.com/MmQV79M.png)
This one’s a bit dark:
We’ve decided to name our Christmas tree ‘Amy Winehouse’, because it’s going to die surrounded by needles. Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
(December 3, 2022 at 2:26 pm)arewethereyet Wrote:(December 3, 2022 at 2:15 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: What’s the difference between Herschel Walker and a high chair? Then he’s going to LOVE this one: What’s the difference between Herschel Walker and Barack Obama? Herschel Walker has too many birth certificates. Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
|
|
« Next Oldest | Next Newest »
|
| Possibly Related Threads... | |||||
| Thread | Author | Replies | Views | Last Post | |
| No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! | Jehanne | 10 | 2748 |
April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm Last Post: arewethereyet |
|
| A sacred joke. | Mystic | 15 | 3310 |
January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm Last Post: Cyberman |
|
| Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke | Brian37 | 1 | 1607 |
May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm Last Post: vorlon13 |
|
| There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! | Minimalist | 3 | 2539 |
October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm Last Post: Zidneya |
|
| Joke | Minimalist | 59 | 18801 |
June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am Last Post: Ravenshire |
|
| A little joke | Sup | 11 | 4743 |
April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4 |
|
| Evolution (is a) joke | JesusLover1 | 12 | 9434 |
March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm Last Post: Minimalist |
|
| Preacher joke 02 | Drich | 2 | 1993 |
February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am Last Post: NoraBrimstone |
|
| Preacher joke 01 | Drich | 8 | 4844 |
January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am Last Post: Drich |
|
| Make Up An Atheist Joke | freedomfromforum | 5 | 3050 |
October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am Last Post: Angrboda |
|
