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Current time: May 14, 2024, 12:41 pm

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joke time
RE: joke time
[Image: 10174.jpg]
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RE: joke time
I once attended a magic show in Spain. The magician said, ‘Unos, dos…’ and then vanished without a tres.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
“Nothing looks good on me anymore,” wailed a customer modeling an outfit in front of the department store’s mirror.

“Nonsense, ma’am,” soothed the salesclerk. “That dress says it all.”

“That’s the problem,” the woman replied. “I need a dress that keeps its mouth shut.”
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RE: joke time
Being half man and half horse, he enjoyed being the centaur of attention.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
(August 29, 2023 at 4:54 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Being half man and half horse, he enjoyed being the centaur of attention.

Boru

Faints
  
“If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.” — Confucius
                                      
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RE: joke time
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because the “P” is silent.
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RE: joke time
A wife was outside pulling weeds on a hot summer day when her husband walked up and asked her what they were having for dinner.

Irritated by the thought of him sitting in the air conditioned house while she labored away on the weeds, she snapped, “I can’t believe. You’re asking me about supper right now! Pretend I’m out of town, go inside and make dinner yourself!”

So he went back in the house and fixed himself a big steak, potatoes, garlic bread, and a tall beer.

His wife walked in just about the time he was finishing up and asked, “Where’s my dinner?”

“Huh? I thought you were out of town,” he replied.
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RE: joke time
(August 29, 2023 at 10:44 pm)Anomalocaris Wrote: Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because the “P” is silent.

If you want to know who the deep thinkers are, replace "pterodactyl" with "flying dinosaur".

They'll be the only ones laughing at the punch line.
Disappointing theists since 1968!
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RE: joke time
(August 30, 2023 at 10:13 am)Darinda Wrote: A wife was outside pulling weeds on a hot summer day when her husband walked up and asked her what they were having for dinner.

Irritated by the thought of him sitting in the air conditioned house while she labored away on the weeds, she snapped, “I can’t believe. You’re asking me about supper right now! Pretend I’m out of town, go inside and make dinner yourself!”

So he went back in the house and fixed himself a big steak, potatoes, garlic bread, and a tall beer.

His wife walked in just about the time he was finishing up and asked, “Where’s my dinner?”

“Huh? I thought you were out of town,” he replied.

Alternate ending:

His wife walked in just about the time he was finishing up and asked, “Who is she?”
Disappointing theists since 1968!
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RE: joke time
(August 29, 2023 at 4:54 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Being half man and half horse, he enjoyed being the centaur of attention.

Boru

[Image: F1-F-S28a-UAEy3-ZL-jpeg.jpg]
Dying to live, living to die.
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