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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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joke time
Rhizomorph13 Offline
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#291
RE: joke time
November 3, 2014 at 4:33 pm
I came close to death yesterday...
I jerked off in a cemetery.
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Cyberman Away
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#292
RE: joke time
November 4, 2014 at 7:58 am
Tesco have announced that they will be adding a new beer to their value real ale range.

Alongside the affordable Simply Golden Ale and the inexpensive Simply Dark, they're adding Simply Red, for when money's too tight to mention.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
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Cyberman Away
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#293
RE: joke time
November 4, 2014 at 8:00 am
I've given up drinking and I've been dry now for a week, which has made everyone happy.

Apart from my bedside lamp.

Now it won't talk to me.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
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Tartarus Sauce Offline
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#294
RE: joke time
November 4, 2014 at 5:57 pm
An Irishman walks out of a bar.
freedomfromfallacy » I'm weighing my tears to see if the happy ones weigh the same as the sad ones.
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#295
RE: joke time
November 4, 2014 at 5:58 pm
Stupid joke time:

Ray Comfort
Dying to live, living to die.
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Tartarus Sauce Offline
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#296
RE: joke time
November 4, 2014 at 6:02 pm
(November 4, 2014 at 5:58 pm)Beccs Wrote: Stupid joke time:

Ray Comfort

He's so una-peel-ing.
freedomfromfallacy » I'm weighing my tears to see if the happy ones weigh the same as the sad ones.
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#297
RE: joke time
November 4, 2014 at 6:03 pm
This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really paying attention.

The driver got out and he was a dwarf.

He said, "I'm not happy."

I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"
Dying to live, living to die.
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#298
RE: joke time
November 4, 2014 at 7:44 pm
One day Snow White was stumbling through the forest, escaping her evil stepmother, when she found a house in a secluded clearing.

She walked inside and found a number of beds. Being exhausted she fell into one of the beds and sank into a deep sleep.

When she woke up several hours later she discovered that her clothes had been removed and a naked dwarf was lying next to her.

She had just encountered the 8th dwarf, Sleazy.

And that's why he wasn't in the movie!
Dying to live, living to die.
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#299
RE: joke time
November 4, 2014 at 7:58 pm (This post was last modified: November 4, 2014 at 7:58 pm by BrianSoddingBoru4.)
Never been a big fan of Snow White. But Goldilocks? Now THAT'S a different story.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#300
RE: joke time
November 4, 2014 at 9:25 pm (This post was last modified: November 4, 2014 at 9:28 pm by The Valkyrie.)
What do you have if you have two green balls in your hand?

Total control of the Incredible Hulk.
(November 4, 2014 at 7:58 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Never been a big fan of Snow White. But Goldilocks? Now THAT'S a different story.

Boru



Dying to live, living to die.
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joke time

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