The way life is is that although we sometimes share commonalities, it is ultimately different for everyone.
For me, it is like this.
When I was 18 there was a family crisis and I struggled for 7 years with my mental health whilst on medication.
Finally I made a full recovery and had my first and so far only ever girlfriend at 25. We broke up after a year and four months of being together.
It turns out that after seven years of mental health difficulties my psychiatrist said that what it is is that I get breakdowns because I just happen to be the sort of person who is particularly prone to stress and breakdowns. Apparently I had been misdiagnosed with Bi-Polar Affective Disorder, type one ( formerly manic depression) for seven years but my symptoms were so severe for so long that it was justified in medicating me with drugs such as Lithium.
So I was signed off as well after seven years.
When it comes to life skills I am still as hopeless as I have ever been. When I use a hoover I break it. When I cook I burn it. When I cut cheese it is too thick. When I go out by myself I get lost. When I wash up I soak the towels used to dry the dishes up and I use too much washing up liquid. I need to be shown how to operate a washing machine over and over. When I shower or bathe the floor always gets soaked. For years I couldn't make my own bed and I still struggle and last time it took 45 minutes and I didn't even do it quite right.
I don't have an explanation for or compensation for why I am like this.
Despite being signed off as no longer 'ill' I was told that I was still not quite fit for work yet since as I am so prone to stress as it is, a paid job may pretty much guarantee a breakdown.
By the way after spliting up with my girlfriend I am still offically down as living her despite fleeing to my brother's due to her being impossible to live with, I now owe rent for a home I am no longer living at, I was on a joint claim with her, I informed jobcentre that I needed the claim changing to single, I recieved a late and overdue letter informing me far too late that all my money was suddenly stopping because I am changing my benefit to single claim despite being down as offically living with my gf still.
Even though I explained that I am not actually living there and am only down as living there offically because housing advised me to do so, so that I am not seen as making myself intentionally homeless.
Because, after all I have a joint tenancy and every right to co-habit with my ex-gf but I can't because she is impossible to live with and I am easy to manipulate.
So, I think I may have a breakdown fairly soon if this highly personal post isn't already the beginning of one.
I think. I am. Fucked.
EvF
For me, it is like this.
When I was 18 there was a family crisis and I struggled for 7 years with my mental health whilst on medication.
Finally I made a full recovery and had my first and so far only ever girlfriend at 25. We broke up after a year and four months of being together.
It turns out that after seven years of mental health difficulties my psychiatrist said that what it is is that I get breakdowns because I just happen to be the sort of person who is particularly prone to stress and breakdowns. Apparently I had been misdiagnosed with Bi-Polar Affective Disorder, type one ( formerly manic depression) for seven years but my symptoms were so severe for so long that it was justified in medicating me with drugs such as Lithium.
So I was signed off as well after seven years.
When it comes to life skills I am still as hopeless as I have ever been. When I use a hoover I break it. When I cook I burn it. When I cut cheese it is too thick. When I go out by myself I get lost. When I wash up I soak the towels used to dry the dishes up and I use too much washing up liquid. I need to be shown how to operate a washing machine over and over. When I shower or bathe the floor always gets soaked. For years I couldn't make my own bed and I still struggle and last time it took 45 minutes and I didn't even do it quite right.
I don't have an explanation for or compensation for why I am like this.
Despite being signed off as no longer 'ill' I was told that I was still not quite fit for work yet since as I am so prone to stress as it is, a paid job may pretty much guarantee a breakdown.
By the way after spliting up with my girlfriend I am still offically down as living her despite fleeing to my brother's due to her being impossible to live with, I now owe rent for a home I am no longer living at, I was on a joint claim with her, I informed jobcentre that I needed the claim changing to single, I recieved a late and overdue letter informing me far too late that all my money was suddenly stopping because I am changing my benefit to single claim despite being down as offically living with my gf still.
Even though I explained that I am not actually living there and am only down as living there offically because housing advised me to do so, so that I am not seen as making myself intentionally homeless.
Because, after all I have a joint tenancy and every right to co-habit with my ex-gf but I can't because she is impossible to live with and I am easy to manipulate.
So, I think I may have a breakdown fairly soon if this highly personal post isn't already the beginning of one.
I think. I am. Fucked.
EvF
