To the believers out there:
I will take it upon myself to accept all of your worldly possessions and hold them in trust. They must be received 24 hours prior to the date you choose for the rapture. Remember to insure them, I can't be held responsible for damage or loss in shipping. If the rapture day you selected passes and the world continues, your possessions will be returned to you (assuming that they were received) intact 30 days after that date less my standard shipping and handling fee. If you should come to an untimely demise during the 30 day period your possessions will be distributed in the manor that seems most fitting to me.
Don't delay. Take advantage of this fabulous opportunity today.
I will take it upon myself to accept all of your worldly possessions and hold them in trust. They must be received 24 hours prior to the date you choose for the rapture. Remember to insure them, I can't be held responsible for damage or loss in shipping. If the rapture day you selected passes and the world continues, your possessions will be returned to you (assuming that they were received) intact 30 days after that date less my standard shipping and handling fee. If you should come to an untimely demise during the 30 day period your possessions will be distributed in the manor that seems most fitting to me.
Don't delay. Take advantage of this fabulous opportunity today.
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.