How honest should parents be?

[Joods]

I don't think there is a one-size-fits-all answer. There are too many factors to take into consideration. Age, mental maturity, emotional maturity, social arena, where a kid lives ( yes there are huge differences between living in a thriving metropolis and living on the side of a mountain, hours from civilization), who they live with, what values (or lack of) they know or have, how likely they are to listen to an adult etc.

There is no one single book on how to raise a kid perfectly and kids don't come with instruction manuals at birth. I believe parents do the best they can, given what they have to work with.

I have four kids. Each one gets parented slightly different. Rules are still the same for all family members, however, my 14 year old has Oppositional Defiance Disorder, ADHD, PTSD (thanks to his bio mom), and is Bipolar. He's got issues with school and has a hard time making friends. He's on a few meds which seem to help, but he cannot be left unattended because he starts agitating his little brother. My 13 year old is a distinguished honor role student, has played two different instruments in school, been in honors choir and has no medical issues. However, she's Thirteen, can be moody and isn't happy unless she's getting her way. Typical teenager.

My 11 year old has Tourettes syndrome, makes friends easily, gets along very well with his sisters and wants to be a video game programmer when he grows up. However, no flowers grow in his garden of common sense and I find that some of his questions make my brain hurt.
My oldest is 20. Although I have not had access to her in 16 months (I'm working on that), she has Down syndrome and autism. She's at about the mental age of a second grader. She will always need home care and will not be able to live independently.

So you see, four kids from the same household but each one needs slightly different parenting. As a parent, constantly adapting to fit the needs of the kids is something you automatically sign up for when you bring a kid into the world. Once you become a mom or dad, your life changes in such a way that looking out for "number one" (yourself) just doesn't seem as important anymore.

When you have to choose between buying the latest electronic gadget or getting new clothes for your kid, and you don't have enough money for both, you quickly realize where your priorities should be.