Still struggling.

[scoobysnack]

Well I would say atheists don't want people to leave the flock either from what I have experienced over the years and on this forum. Atheism has many different dogmas as well. Dig deep enough in this forum and you will find they disagree on what atheism actually means. In the end all perception of reality is sum of experiences, and I can't say that enough.

Part of understanding is accepting. From your perspective, you need to understand why you are the way you are. Is it a mental defect, or a challenge given to you to overcome? Trust me I used to curse God, and life for all the things I had to go through, but in the end it made me a stronger person, after time. Time is the key thing. All souls come to earth to inhabit human bodies for the life of the body, and accept the challenges that body will have. It's part of our learning process, and essential to our learning and wisdom. You can only overcome through challenges, and what you are in now is a challenge to help you grow, and create who you will grow into and become in the future. You will be a lot wiser than those who have not had your challenges and instead have had an easier life. Although we all have our challenges in life, through them we overcome them for ourselves to learn from them and grow. And with that growth we can help others, and the  process continues for all souls to experience the life in the physical realm so we are stronger and wiser when we enter back into the spiritual realm.

Just remember that you are young, and trust me as you get older things will become more clear. I can give you information, but you must grow to achieve the wisdom of experience. Trust me.

Check out this link about the purpose of life.

http://www.near-death.com/science/research/life.html

This song is also a good reminder:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmpU_73CXxU

Yea, OCD is likely something I'll put up with until I die. Its just how it works, you loose one obsession you gain three more. If I do learn to deal with the OCD thoughts it wouldn't be because god would want me to? I'm born sick but forced to be strong? Not how it works man. You've linked me to the same website about 4 times, please state more sources than just one.

I used to think the same thing about my depression since it was all I knew. One day you might just snap out of it. Only you can be in charge of your emotions. Not trying to downplay OCD since I haven't experienced it, but just don't let it determine who you are. You ARE who you determine you will BE! Like I said time is the cure, and don't give up, because you are young. I'm 34, and still feel like I'm a kid, but have many more experiences than when I was younger and they all form who you are.

I don't mean to keep posting the same sources, but there are hundreds of perspectives on that source from all walks of life, from the suicidal, religious, atheist, scientists, skeptical, believers, teachers etc.

I hope you check out the links I gave you though. All I want to do is help, since I've been where you are.