Still struggling.

[robvalue]

Gdog: You're right, the preacher does not understand evolution. Like almost everyone who "denies" it, he's presenting a strawman version of it, then saying "that's ridiculous". It is ridiculous, what he is saying, but it's also not the theory of evolution. It's his warped idea of it.

I'm very impressed with your research and handling of NDEs! We get a lot of people peddling that here, and it seems you need no help seeing through it.

From the time you've spent here, I feel confident saying you're going to beat this. I'm not saying it will be easy or that it will end up disappearing completely, but I believe it will end up being manageable. Like I've been depressed for many years, and I still am, but I've moved onto a place where I can keep it in check; it's in a fenced off area of my brain, where I have all sorts of strategies ready to poke it back should it try to emerge.

It may help to dispel some of the power the mythology has over you by confronting it directly. I've recommended this before, and I've seen it help people quite a bit. You can shout at God, "Hey! You suck! Why are you doing such a terrible job? I don't think you're even there at all! I'm not scared of you! Go ahead and blow up my head! Do it you chickenshit!"

Or words to that effect I understand that might be a lot to do at first, but maybe it's something you can build up to. Since I can guarantee nothing is going to happen (nothing that wouldn't happen anyway) you can see first hand that you're just talking to the air. Repeating this and becoming more intense as you "tell off" God and demand he show himself or leave you alone, may just cement in your mind that people really are just talking to themselves.