Still struggling.

[robvalue]

I can understand that. At the pits of my depression, everything was just dulled out, and I was desperately trying to find anything that would make me feel something.

As for suicide, I can be pretty sure I would have killed myself without anti depressants. It is sweet you're automatically trying to think of your mum in the best light, it's because you're a nice person. Sadly, she does not have your best interests at heart. She is putting her religion before your wellbeing, and that's totally unacceptable.

Also... people on Prozac are generally very highly depressed in the first place, so high suicide rates aren't that surprising considering the target group. I'm not saying they are risk free, they are powerful drugs which shouldn't be taken lightly. A particular one may actually make you feel worse, or really strange. That has happened to me. The important thing is to recognise it and come off it, and try another one. If you persist with one that is causing you to feel worse, then that will definitely be dangerous. Of course, discuss all this with your therapist/doctor and don't take my word for anything. I'm just giving you the benefit of my experience.

First time round Prozac helped me right away. With my second bout of depression, many years later, Prozac had a very strange effect on me and did make me worse. I was in a terrible hysterical state. But I came off it, and I went back to "normal". No harm had been done. With the help of the doctor I tried several more types, which generally had no effect, before finding the one which helped me this time. I'm still on it, and I firmly believe I would have killed myself had I not been put on it.