pop morality

[athrock]

Can you explain what your answer to number 1 means? It doesn't seem to include anything about human wellbeing whatsoever.

It's Paul's unique flavor on Christianity, since Jesus seems to heavily to have favored humanist actions in order to get into heaven, such as the sell everything that you have and give it to the poor stuff. Of course, they deny that's what Jesus meant literally (which is odd, since everything else they like is literal except the parables, which are clearly parbles), because it violates the Paulianity Cult's ideas he so kindly outlined for us, above.

Catholics aren't the only ones who favor that Pauline theological explanation of salvation, but they're most apt to favor it. There are numerous old jokes, made before the clergy molestation scandals made it the easy target for Catholicism, about how Catholics like to torment themselves with their unworthiness. I've told it before, but it's my favorite atheist joke:

"An atheist dies and goes to Hell. Of course, he's very surprised by this! But there it is: the River Styx, and the opening of the great iron gates beneath the sign 'Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here'. Standing there, as the gates open, is Satan himself, all ten feet of glistening red demon-flesh, bat-wings, hooves, tail, and all. In a booming voice, Satan says 'Welcome, lost soul, to your eternity in Hell.' 

"Thrembling with fear, the atheist follows the massive bat-wing-covered back as Satan turns to lead him in. He can't really hear what Satan is saying, so overcome is he with shock and terror at finding himself in this situation. But after a few seconds, he starts to look around and notices that he's walking on lush grass. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and all around him he sees people having a great time; they're laughing together around picnic baskets, they're riding roller coasters, they're engaging in orgies, and basically having the best time anyone can imagine.

"Satan finally stops droning on about Hell long enough to notice his new charge has fallen behind. He returns and tells the atheist, 'Oh man I'm sorry, I always forget to tell new people. All that stuff you heard about us from the other side? Total propaganda! They're just trying to win converts by scaring you while you're there on earth. Can you blame them? Great tactic; wish I'd thought of it. Don't worry, we're cool as can be, here. Anything you want, and I mean anything, all you have to do is ask!

"The atheist is greatly relieved by this, as you can imagine, and starts to listen as Satan continues the tour. But then it happens! They crest a hill and there it is, The Lake of Fire™, containing billions of souls in flaming agony, tearing their flesh from their own bodies as it burns, only to have it regrow again instantly, and wailing in self-pitying agony.

"The atheist recoils in horror, but Satan rushes to calm him: 'Dude! Don't worry. This is just for the Cathlics. *shrug* They insisted!!!"

Pretty good. Here's one of my favs:

A Protestant was marooned on an island all alone for several years. Finally, a ship appeared, and a rescue party came ashore. The captain of the ship was impressed by the survivor's ability to hold out alone all that time, and was curious about how he had managed to do so. Noticing that three huts had been erected, the captain asked what they were for.

"This first hut is where I live...I eat, sleep and work in here. The second one is where I go to worship God."

"But what about the third hut," the captain asked.

"Oh, that," the survivor snorted. "That is where I used to worship."