(April 27, 2016 at 2:57 pm)The_Empress Wrote:(April 27, 2016 at 2:52 pm)Drich Wrote: People I help with various life projects...
One guy is 60 and has regressed mentally to 16... not a modern 16 but a 16year old when he was originally 16. And he live with his mom till she finally kicked him out last year. So i work with him. I give him projects to do like hold a job for 6 months and then we will do something he likes, or I will help him fix something.
Another guy is having problems with his married life, and I help him break down basic fundemental marriage stuff into little manageable pieces and he does those. we have coffee every week and he updates me on what works/what he did and did not do.
I had maybe 1/2 dozen people on line I've help with their spiritual needs over the years. (long term/years of correspondence.) All of which was broken up into small projects for them to complete.
what did you think I meant?
Well, I have friends whom I help work through stuff too... but I call them "friends", not "projects" and it's mutual; sometimes they help me too. I wonder how your "project people" would feel if they knew you used that descriptor on them. It's pretty awful.
A one way friendship is not a friendship. In these relationships I give period. there is rarely a acknowledgement or thank you. I am simply doing my job to help out those in need. They own me nothing. no money, no loyalty no obligation. I stay and help so long as they keep up their end. once they stop I stop. It's like how I work with you guys. My effort closely matches your own. I maybe in a flaming hot debate with you in one thread, and here i might be matter of fact. why? because emotion is not apart of what I do when I am helping people. Because I need to make good uninfluenced decisions to best serve those in whom i help.
For instance after you and i went at it last year and I was bann if you were to come to me for help an hour after all the bad stuff that was said I would have done whatever I could. why? because the emotion i display is directly proportionate to those i am dealing with in the situation I am dealing in. If the situation changes the emotions get reset for the next task.
With friends I get to be needy or I get to be angry or what ever I am feeling. with project people I have to be who ever they need me to be.
As far as what they'd think... they can think anything they like. again they owe me nothing. If they get hurt they are free to move on, or if they see what I do helps them title aside then I will continue to help when and where I can.
