What is your Favorite Emotion?

[emjay]

That's a very thoughtful analysis Losty   And you're right, emotions are amazing, just as is everything about the mind. I'm both very emotional and very closed off at the same time. I'm used to shit in my life and I'm stoic about it... I very rarely grieve loss or let myself wallow in it... so I don't cry very much. Nor do I let myself feel regret or 'what if' when I make mistakes because I see no point in crying over spilt milk. Likewise I try to use mindfulness to shut down some feelings before they have a chance to grow strong and hurt me in the long run... and anger is one of them. Anger can feel good and empowering in the moment, as you say, but given the choice I'd rather not feel it because whether directed at myself or at someone/something else IMO it's ultimately unfulfilling and rarely solves anything, and usually makes things worse. But for me mindfulness only really works well when it's about nipping something in the bud, before it's had a chance to properly form... if I miss that opportunity then I tend to feel the full force of the emotion, wallowing in it and finding it hard to get out. So in other words I find it hard to be mindful when I'm actually caught up in an emotion, but I wish I could because that would solve a lot of problems, and lead to true emotional mastery.

I truly think the way I was raised is the reason I feel differently about this. I don't want to use mindfulness to learn how not to feel certain emotions. I absolutely embrace my ability to feel. I don't even know how to describe how good it feels to feel...anything. So I just let myself feel how I truly feel. If that feeling happens to be negative then I work my way through it. But I won't deny my feelings even if they're bad. I love being able to feel them.

I can totally understand that   I don't think my way is the best way by a long shot, it's just my way. I'm pretty emotionally unstable tbh and for me this seems the best way to try and deal with it. But I have no problem in principle with crying or anything... it's not a macho thing or whatever that makes me not do it... crying/grieving helps you to work through things and come to a state of acceptance. IMO it's braver to cry than not to cry because it involves really facing whatever has hurt you and working through your feelings about it so I can totally see its value. I've seen that first hand because for one loss I was inconsolable, couldn't stop crying for days, but it worked and eventually the tears dried up and I accepted it, but it was still an unpleasant experience, so I guess I am perhaps a coward for wanting to block it out.