Another way of looking at depression

[robvalue]

(This is an idea a friend of mine came up with. I'm not sure if they'd like me to identify them or not, but I think they'd be ok with me sharing this.)

As most of you have probably gathered by now, I'm very seriously depressed. I try not to go on about it all the time; partly so as not to bore and burden everyone, and partly because I'm trying to take my mind off it. But sometimes I have to have a good hard think about it, because it has such a big impact on my life.

Depression is almost always viewed in a negative light, and understandably so. This is another way of viewing it, which makes it come off more like a hero than a villain.

When our mind and our body are all in harmony and agreeing amongst themselves, we don't tend to feel conflict. We are making decisions we are confident in. But sometimes part of us pushes back against us, as if to tell us there is not total agreement. Depression could maybe be viewed this way. I'm guessing that when someone has chosen to die, wants to die and is confident with that decision, they wouldn't feel depression. They'd feel clarity; peace maybe. I've longed to let myself feel that peace.

A depressed person is fighting to keep alive. Part of them wants to live, for whatever reason. In my case, the reasons mostly consist of the effects on those I would leave behind. This has somehow provided me enough motivation not to kill myself over the last 10 years. Part of me wants to keep living, even if it's not actually for my own benefit.

So maybe depression can be viewed as the cognitive dissonance between the part of us that wants to give up, and the part that wants to keep fighting. Keep living. In this way, it's a good thing. It reminds us that we still have some fight left in us.