If Life is Meaningless Anyway, then What's Wrong with Religion?

[CWoods]

One of my ex-girlfriends (a devout Mormon) told me essentially that she wasn't sure if Mormonism's religious claims were true, but that the Church made her happy.  I've thought many times that this stance, which seems fairly common among religious people, was inauthentic.  But given the existential crisis I'm facing right now about the meaninglessness of life, her position on the issue is sounding less and less crazy. 

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Although I've been an atheist for decades, I'm sure churches and temples would not exist if they didn't provide something that benefitted or pleased their congregants or met their needs.  For some, it's simply a feeling of belonging which is a basic human need. For some it's the comfort of ritual. It might be the aesthetics of stained glass or religious music that draws them in. For many it is the thought that they will see loved ones again an in afterlife. Some find comfort in prayer or the caring and friendship of those who think and believe as they do. For some, I'm sure, it is the fear of what might happen if they didn't believe ---their families would reject them now, and they would go to hell later.

When my highly-religious sister was dying of cancer, members of her church drove her to chemotherapy appointments. They provided meals for the family when her husband still had to work full-time, take care of their children, and visit my sister when she was hospitalized.  Almost every time I went to the hospital to visit her, there was at least one member of her church there with her.

I know that if I were ever in the same position, no one except my husband would do all that for me. I have good friends, but in retirement, most of them have scattered far and wide and many are already in poor health themselves.  On the other hand, I don't like to be fussed over, so I'd probably prefer to suffer alone.

Yet, I cannot force myself to believe in something I don't think is true and I found some benefits to NOT being religious. I no longer feel guilty over every little thing.  I no longer feel like I can never be pious enough. I don't worry about an afterlife and have accepted that life ends when it ends. I know I can be good without a god. And I try to understand other people's points of view, even if I don't agree. I'm not afraid to be wrong and know I am more open to learning by not thinking I have all the answers.  (My experience with religion in my youth was that my parents religion supposedly had all the right answers and everyone else was wrong.)

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I've never quite understood all the fuss about "the meaning of life."  Why does there have to be a meaning?  I rarely even think about life's meaning.  To me, life is what it is and no more. I don't take it too seriously, although it is often quite serious.  It's often hard and often we have to do things we don't want to do. Every life has some sadness. disappointment, or even tragedy.  Sometimes life is full of pleasure and fun, or even funny.  But no one is happy all of the time.  We need to live to enjoy what we can ----and overcome what we can't.

However, life is also what we make it.

So what do you want life to be?  Maybe you need to decide that, first.  Then, doing what you have to do to make it so will be your life's meaning.

I suggest some daily goals. That could be some disagreeable but necessary chores and include something pleasurable and something that is good for you (like going to the gym.)

I suggest some longer-term goals, such as earning a degree, saving money for a trip, to buy a house or for retirement.

And then, there could be a bucket list.  I wish I had made one when I was young and done some things in my younger years when I was more physically capable.  I had some things in my head, such as traveling on a motorcycle across the U.S. or walking the length of my state (never did either.) But it's OK to delete, change, or add to a bucket list at any time. At age 21, you might want to acquire a certain type of job.  At age 30 you might decide you'd rather do something else.  At 20, it might sound fun to go to Cancun with friends, but at 40, you might rather relax at home for a week.

I did some things I wanted to do: I finished college, served in the Peace Corps, became a teacher, got married to someone with a sense of humor (twice, although my goal was only once), traveled a bit.  I saved enough so I could retire at age 54, but then changed plans and went back to work and RE-retired at 62.  I have always continued to learn by reading or taking courses. I've had art work accepted in prestigious exhibits and have had over 100 articles/short stories published. Some of those things would have been on my bucket list at age 20, but many would not.  For example, I only started to write seriously in my mid-30s.

Now, my list is filled with things I want to learn and places I haven't seen before or places I want to visit again. 

My life hasn't been perfect. I've been poor.  I've lost loved ones. I've had disappointments and experienced tragedy. But I can say I'm one of the happiest people I know. Maybe it's because I don't take it all too seriously or worry about its meaning.




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