I Walked Away From Christianity, but How do I Walk Away From My Family?

[brewer]

My sister is planning to pick me up Saturday to spend time with her and her kids for her daughter’s birthday. I want to spend time with my family because I know how important it is. At the same time, I don’t want to be in an untenable situation. And the situation will be untenable for two reasons.
She wants me to pay eighty dollars for her daughter and little friends to go to the zoo. I remember years ago when she treated me to the zoo on my birthday. She got really disgusted because I couldn’t see the animals. My sight was better then.

Even though she’s more mature now and has better control of her clinically diagnosed bipolar swings, still, I go where I am celebrated, not tolerated. I don’t look forward to spending the day with people who are trying to be patient with me.

Secondly, I’ll be surrounded by Christians who will feel free to give voice to their delusions. Maybe I should be mature myself and openly declare my thoughts about what they claim. That’s easier said than done in a family where exercising my Miranda Rights* has often been the best course.

Even when I was a Christian, my sister’s mood swings have caused her to be physically violent towards me.  After I left the church, my mother told me she is believing god for something to happen to me so I’d have no choice but cry out to Jesus.  I know family is supposed to be important, but why should I make a monumental effort to maintain a relationship with people who have such a twisted concept of love? Hope will keep me codependent on people who’re addicted to the blue pill.

It would be easier if my sister came out and said something like oh you’re not a Christian so I don’t want you around my kids. Then I’d have a clear path.  Instead, they’re like ba ba black sheep, we still love you. My mother thinks I’m mad at god for not healing my disability. If I had Socratic integrity, I would disabuse them of this delusion, take the hemlock and be done with it, but I always hesitate when the opportunity presents itself, because I feel vulnerable and am not sure what they will convince themselves god told them to do next.

I think I should not go to this party. I feel like I’m running out of fools and they will push me to the point where my mouth opens of its own accord. .  then I will be out there like a motherless child a long ways from home and dependent on my angry sister to drive me back to my town.

Have any of you been in a situation like this? What did you do and what was the result?

*Miranda Rights: You have the right to remain silent. If you choose not to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Just a couple of thoughts/questions. 

Why are you paying the eighty dollars to go somewhere that you won't enjoy? Is this your fee admittance to be around the family? Or is this some twisted sister thought process, somehow you owe her and her kids? If you have to pay, you pick the place.

Celebrated, not tolerated? Does not sound like you will be even tolerated. More like used and possibly abused. (at least mentally)

Did I get this right, your sis prays to god that you will be punished and cry out to be saved? If correct, that's messed up. Why would you want to be around her?

Their love seems conditional. Is it worth the conditions?

I have not been in a situation like this with family, but with friends. Lets just say they were not friends for long. I have no clue what happened to them. As far as I'm concerned I ended up fine.

Do a risk/benefit or pro/con analysis. Then make the right choice for you.