So, you're sitting in a tea shop, quietly reading a book...

[Pat Mustard]

...and this drunk comes in and tries to get you to drink out of the bottle he's been sucking on, apparently for some time now. He insists that the rot gut is better than tea and you should try his favorite brand because it's really great.You decline and he gets angry that you would not agree to get as besotted as him. You explain that tea and booze aren't in the same drink category and booze is actually rather bad for the person drinking it. He then attacks you for being "closed minded" about booze. 

You can see where this is going, right?

And here was I thinking this was going to be about the time Batman burst out the seat under you and gave you a wedgie.