I have felt like a worthless failure and loser ever since I was 18 and I was unable to achieve all the ridiculous expectations my dad expected of me. Now no matter how well I do at something... I'll feel like a failure... unless I literally get 100%.
He always wanted me to be the best player in the world at a game and win money though... and just getting a little better at Age of Empires 2 makes me feel a lot better about myself at this point. Because that has been my favorite game since I was 12 and that was also the game he pushed me to become world class at... which took a lot of the fun out of it. So I am sort of trying to get my childhood back.
Oh and also fuck I love that game.
But yeah I find myself having to remind myself that any improvement at this game is a success... I recently wrote a guide for more inexperienced players and they said how helpful it was and I almost cried because I feel like this pathetic failure despite being better than 90% of people at the game.
Here's some of the reactions I got:
That did made me feel all warm inside for a little while... and yet before I know it I'll still be telling myself I suck.
May seem trvial to some, most or even all of you since it's 'only a game'. But I've never had a job and my dad pushed me to make money through winning tournaments in video games. He like literally believed he was a genius and all his children were geninuses because he's a genius dad teaching them to be geniuses and giving them his genius genes. He used to say shit like "THERE'S SO MUCH IN ME!".
He didn't just encourage me and tell me I could be good at stuff if I wanted it. He didn't even tell me I could do anything if I put my mind to it. He told me I WOULD and WILL succeed at being the BEST in the WORLD at everything. Now.... that kind of encouragement just had the effect of making me feel like a total failure no matter how well I did because of the absurd expectations he was instilling n me.
He always wanted me to be the best player in the world at a game and win money though... and just getting a little better at Age of Empires 2 makes me feel a lot better about myself at this point. Because that has been my favorite game since I was 12 and that was also the game he pushed me to become world class at... which took a lot of the fun out of it. So I am sort of trying to get my childhood back.
Oh and also fuck I love that game.
But yeah I find myself having to remind myself that any improvement at this game is a success... I recently wrote a guide for more inexperienced players and they said how helpful it was and I almost cried because I feel like this pathetic failure despite being better than 90% of people at the game.
Here's some of the reactions I got:
Quote:That was very well detailed and helpful information, thank you for taking the time to write all of that. I learnt alot from it and am starting to realize why I struggle sometimes with the mistakes I make.
I will take in all of this information and hopefully improve with more practise and I hope Vec0 takes the time to read it and improve aswell, have fun all.
Quote:Totally agree - very impressed too and "much work for a stranger" . Chapeau / nicely done.
Regards,
t. L.
Quote:Thank you a lot! i read everything and i should definitely try to improve step by step so i dont get lost. I even feel a bit ashame for doing so many dumb things without thinking about their goal and also thank you for these information for exemple the 25%hill damage/resistence bonus, i though it ony apply on buildings :/
It also seems like i have read some bad guides or maybe i mixed all the informations because they were advertising differente villager organisation and economic upgrades.
Your analyse will make my gaming experience way less frustrating because i can now focus in improving instead of feeling completly lost.
Thank you!
That did made me feel all warm inside for a little while... and yet before I know it I'll still be telling myself I suck.
May seem trvial to some, most or even all of you since it's 'only a game'. But I've never had a job and my dad pushed me to make money through winning tournaments in video games. He like literally believed he was a genius and all his children were geninuses because he's a genius dad teaching them to be geniuses and giving them his genius genes. He used to say shit like "THERE'S SO MUCH IN ME!".
He didn't just encourage me and tell me I could be good at stuff if I wanted it. He didn't even tell me I could do anything if I put my mind to it. He told me I WOULD and WILL succeed at being the BEST in the WORLD at everything. Now.... that kind of encouragement just had the effect of making me feel like a total failure no matter how well I did because of the absurd expectations he was instilling n me.
