Ookay... this is gonna be hard. I'm just trying to wrap my head around this situation.
I met this guy. He did just want to screw me in the beginning. That was his reason for in talking to me initially. I felt that and had mixed feelings because other than that he was pretty interesting and I don't know, good to talk to somehow. We went through some turbulences but eventually ended up being really good friends. (he has a gf and I'm gay so we aren't that kind of friends anyway)
It's just that...
I've been having some downs lately. I've been feeling sad a lot. And he does not get it.
He claims he wants me to talk about how I feel. But when I do he just seems frustrated, or even irritated, saying that this is hard. It doesn't make logical sense to him and so he cannot accept it.
Now I've had some rough times in my life and I don't really need a concrete reason to feel depressed. I've been up and down that road. And I'd like to think I'm not particularly depressing. I mean sure it's negative energy, but I can't really control how I'm feeling. And he presses me to talk and then proceeds to get all worked up over not seeing sense in it. I've tried explaining countless times. Tried to make him understand where I'm coming from and how it feels to me. All that he seems to notice is how my feelings make him feel. If that makes any sense. And that makes me feel guilty over feeling sad and that makes things even worse. (I swear to god vic, you use the word feel one more damn time and you're getting the slipper. sorry)
So... now I'm torn. There's all this tension between us. We can't talk normally. I know that my state affects my relationships. I know it can bring people down or put them off. But he's so persistent about bugging me... I don't know how to better describe it... that I can't stand it and just end up pushing him away even further. And I've explained THAT three times already. He said he understood once. But now he insists he can't just ignore how I'm acting, how I am.
I'm starting to question if I'm losing my mind. Am I being stupid? Is this that voice in my head telling me to push people I care about away? I mean I've now started actually reconnecting with people so it doesn't sound right. Am I doing something wrong?
I'm at my wits end. I don't know how to talk to him. Please, just give me your thoughts. And don't hold back.
I met this guy. He did just want to screw me in the beginning. That was his reason for in talking to me initially. I felt that and had mixed feelings because other than that he was pretty interesting and I don't know, good to talk to somehow. We went through some turbulences but eventually ended up being really good friends. (he has a gf and I'm gay so we aren't that kind of friends anyway)
It's just that...
I've been having some downs lately. I've been feeling sad a lot. And he does not get it.
He claims he wants me to talk about how I feel. But when I do he just seems frustrated, or even irritated, saying that this is hard. It doesn't make logical sense to him and so he cannot accept it.
Now I've had some rough times in my life and I don't really need a concrete reason to feel depressed. I've been up and down that road. And I'd like to think I'm not particularly depressing. I mean sure it's negative energy, but I can't really control how I'm feeling. And he presses me to talk and then proceeds to get all worked up over not seeing sense in it. I've tried explaining countless times. Tried to make him understand where I'm coming from and how it feels to me. All that he seems to notice is how my feelings make him feel. If that makes any sense. And that makes me feel guilty over feeling sad and that makes things even worse. (I swear to god vic, you use the word feel one more damn time and you're getting the slipper. sorry)
So... now I'm torn. There's all this tension between us. We can't talk normally. I know that my state affects my relationships. I know it can bring people down or put them off. But he's so persistent about bugging me... I don't know how to better describe it... that I can't stand it and just end up pushing him away even further. And I've explained THAT three times already. He said he understood once. But now he insists he can't just ignore how I'm acting, how I am.
I'm starting to question if I'm losing my mind. Am I being stupid? Is this that voice in my head telling me to push people I care about away? I mean I've now started actually reconnecting with people so it doesn't sound right. Am I doing something wrong?
I'm at my wits end. I don't know how to talk to him. Please, just give me your thoughts. And don't hold back.
