Please help?

[Longhorn]

It is important not to blame yourself for how you feel. And you feeling bad is not something taht should cause you to feel guilty.
I'd say try not to get hung up on the fact that he is having trouble relating. Rejoice in the fact that you are worthwhile. You are definitely worthwhile enough to have someone to try.

Thank you so much. That was sweet to read.

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Hmm.  I had one massive episode of depression which I did without consulting a therapist.  Don't think I'd do that again though.  I mean, if there is a pharmaceutical solution to some of the symptoms I'd say yes thank you if I had it to do over again.

As for pushing people away, I did too.  Try not to push them too far.  You may need more solitude but you probably won't always want that.

I don't think it's that serious. In any case it's familiar ground and I feel confident in dealing with this. I have this messed up pride thing when it comes to help but I do consider it whenever things get more serious, and if they ever do to a point I can't handle, I will most definitely reach out.

Yeah, I know. Fortunately I don't kick too hard and my friends are patient. Many of them are great in that way that they just kinda know how it is with me.