Please help?

[Longhorn]

He is a fixer. But he is also only concerned about my feelings as far as they impact him, as I found out.

I have written and written and written and spoken and talked and to no avail. And I am distancing myself simply because I can’t deal with the situation. And he doesn’t get that either.

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Vic,

I just want to give you a hug. I can't speak for your friend, but I agree with what CL said. Men tend to compartmentalize things and they want to fix things. When they can't, it can be frustrating for them. Hopefully this will work itself out. I know you said you weren't interested or planning on seeing a therapist, but even for a short while - a few months - having a person not emotionally invested in your life might be helpful. This sounds an awful lot like seasonal depression. This sort of thing happens a lot in the winter as many people become less active during colder months.

Also, keep in mind any events that have happened recently that were negative. Those things can still be having an impact on you, even if you don't realize it. My personal advice, for the time being, is to distance yourself from your friend. If you all are at a stagnant point in your friendship, perhaps taking a break for now, would be a good idea. Set up a boundary and ask that he respect that. If he is truly your friend, he will honor your request.

Hopefully he will. This is not season depression, I’m certain of that, or recent events. I’m a victim of childhood trauma going through a rocky way back to health.

Thank you all for your advice. Hopefully it’ll work out.