(January 8, 2018 at 2:20 pm)Longhorn Wrote:(January 8, 2018 at 2:18 pm)Mr.Obvious Wrote: Longhorn, I'm hesitant to give you my thoughts. Not because I don't want to help you, but because I don't know you well enough and definitely don't understand the situation fully.
I have to ask though: do you want to talk to him about all this?
I do. I talk to him. I've told him most of what I wrote, many times. I don't know what else I could possibly say to him.
I don't care if the relationship is just friends, co workers, family members or boss.
The goal of communication should be about talking, listening, and making the goal compromise and problem solving.
Nobody can tell you to stay or go in any relationship, ultimately that is always UP TO YOU, either way.
I would say you CAN look at it as cost / benefit. You are always going to have some ups and downs in any relationship. But you cannot force others to be like you, nor should you throw yourself at others and try to please them 100% of the time.
The truth is, all sides are entitled to be themselves, but neither side is entitled to bully, abuse or emotionally blackmail the other into submission. That only creates an unhealthy co dependent relationship, not one of equality or value.
AGAIN, nobody is telling you to stay or go in this particular relationship. All I am saying is you cannot control others, but you can control how you react. Most of all, your mental health should be a good guide as to the cost/ benefit aspect and what you are willing to tolerate and what is too much for you. BUT only you can control you. It is ok to request, and talk, but if the other does not respond, it IS STILL up to you. You don't have to dictate in the relationship, but you also don't have to bend so much as to be a doormat.
THAT GOES with any relationship.
