What beliefs would we consider reasonable for a self proclaimed Christian to hold?

[Wyrd of Gawd]

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I was raised Southern Baptist.  Then Pentecostal.  For over 40 years I have played the organ for nearly every major Protestant denomination - variations of Baptist, Lutheran, Methodist, Presbyterian, Evangelical, Quaker, 1st Bible, Holiness, Quaker . . . also Unitarian, Anglican, Episcopal, and I'm currently playing for Catholic Mass.  It's really too bad that all of these folks are reading from the same book, but most will accuse the others of "doing it wrong" or "false interpretation of the scriptures" etc., etc.   

When you talk about what God wants to someone who doesn't believe such a creature exists, the burden is upon you to prove it's existence.  It should be quite obvious that statements like "God will never allow such a rewriting of His loving plan" is beyond absurd . . . yeah, Superman was really ticked off when they changed his costume and then reported that he had died!  But then the holy comics posted that he was resurrected, hallelujah!  I'm going to go pray to him that you accept the truth so you won't miss out on Paradise!

There is no afterlife.  There is no god, no angels, no demons, no Satan, no ghosts, no zombies, no sparkly vampires, and no Santa Claus.

*emphasis mine*

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This is simply wrong, the Catholics use a bible with 7 added extra books, while the Evangelicals only have the New Testament in their bible, with the exception of Psalms. So you really just proved GC's point.

You are wrong.  The Protestants use a Bible with 14 fewer books.  They are using a major alteration of the Bible.  All Bibles were "Catholic" Bibles until a committee influenced by two English guys deleted the 14 books in the Apocrypha section in the 1880s.  The "Protestant" Bible has only existed for about 134 years.   

The Catholics have the real Bible.  The Protestants use a fake Bible.