(March 12, 2019 at 5:41 am)Der/die AtheistIn Wrote: If someone you love, is usually supportive and did more good than bad ended up making a mistakes that traumatizes you for life, would you continue the relationship? What if it should've been obvious to them that they should've never done it and easy to prevent? What if they didn't get what they did wrong for years? Is it worth the relationship, whenever they feel sorry or not? If in the future you will have moments when you remember what they did, should you call out for it, even if they don't do anything wrong at that particular moment?
This isn't the first post you have made about what to do in a personal relationship with someone.
I can only give you the same advice I gave you before.
1. Only you can really determine what you are willing to live with.
2. It is ok to forgive, but it is also ok to put your foot down. You don't have to be a doormat for anyone.
3. See advice in point #1.
Only you can determine what you are willing to tolerate and what crosses the line.
My late mother and I butted heads alot when I was growing up. We did not abandon each other, but at the same time, none of our conflicts were that bad as to cut ties. I give her lots of credit in her later years for finally seeing me as an adult and an individual and not something to be molded in her image.
But I have cut others out of my life, people I thought were my friends, and even my older biological brother. I didn't wish them ill, but they violated my trust and emotionally sucked the life out of me to the point it simply was not worth it.
You are never going to have a perfect relationship with anyone where disagreements don't happen. Healthy relationships are not about avoiding conflict, but communication, so that when a disagreement happens, that communication becomes about solving a problem. without placing blame and coming to a compromise.
But regardless, You also do not have to submit yourself to verbal abuse, much less physical abuse. If someone is constantly putting you down or calling you names, that is not friendship or love, that is just their attempt to have power over you. It is unhealthy for you mentally to try to please someone who does that to you.
Again, only you can determine what you are willing, or not willing to live with. But one should not put up with verbal abuse, much less physical abuse.
In the end it ultimately amounts to your mental health. The people who value you as family or friends allow you to be yourself, and can still have disagreements with you. It becomes harmful and unhealthy if it is constant verbal abuse, or physical abuse.
