Should you end the relationship with a person for one big mistake?

[Der/die AtheistIn]

4. And this is a big one. "traumatizes you for life". Why would you assume that you are incapable of overcoming a hardship in your life, ever? Why would one thing one person did, have power over you for 80+ years? Things that happen to us, or because of us, inform our world view. You can let your worldview shape itself, or you can be intentional about what you do. Did you choose your breakfast this morning? Why not choose what  gets you upset? You use your volition everyday, use it to choose what is in your power to control and what you allow to control you.

There is not a lot we can do to control what other people do or think. You can control the filter by which you take things into your worldview to some degree and you can control how much weight you give to inputs to that worldview. </2 cents>

I agree with all of your other statements and you do have a point with this one. Nobody has proof that they will be traumatized for life, however, you can't always choose your feelings. For example, if someone is in danger of dying and they have the will to live, they would feel fear.

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^^^^^ Thats it right here.

The best one can do in any relationship with someone they have a problem with, is to ask them to stop doing something. If they do, great, if they do not, then it is on you to accept or not accept it.

Ultimately you cant control others, just yourself.

I said before, I have cut ties with friends and even family, not out of any sense of having a grudge, just in that I didn't want their drama in my life.

Not forgiving someone does not mean holding a grudge. It just means you don't want that in your life.

Is it possible for someone to can't help holding a grudge?