Should you end the relationship with a person for one big mistake?

[tackattack]

4. And this is a big one. "traumatizes you for life". Why would you assume that you are incapable of overcoming a hardship in your life, ever? Why would one thing one person did, have power over you for 80+ years? Things that happen to us, or because of us, inform our world view. You can let your worldview shape itself, or you can be intentional about what you do. Did you choose your breakfast this morning? Why not choose what  gets you upset? You use your volition everyday, use it to choose what is in your power to control and what you allow to control you.

There is not a lot we can do to control what other people do or think. You can control the filter by which you take things into your worldview to some degree and you can control how much weight you give to inputs to that worldview. </2 cents>

I agree with all of your other statements and you do have a point with this one. Nobody has proof that they will be traumatized for life, however, you can't always choose your feelings. For example, if someone is in danger of dying and they have the will to live, they would feel fear.

Trying to pick your emotions is a lost cause. We are human and we feel. But rational level heads at some point prevail.To think that  you could hate someone for your entire life, man the thought of that just exhausts me. I don't think you have the stamina to maintain that level of emotin for that extent of time, I don't think anybody does, and I don't think it's healthy.

Part of the mechanics of how we live is taking information (emotions are a powerful informant) and processing it to gain control of the parts of our lives that we can. To cite your example, that person if the had the freeze response (instead of fight or flight) then they would die and it would be a waste. The person who is scared, BUT processes then acts upon it typically comes out in a better place, and deals with any emotional aftermath better. You can ask any first responded or military front liner you know. It's not about controlling your emotions like spock or something, it's about not letting them dictate who you are or what you do.