(September 17, 2019 at 8:44 pm)mordant Wrote: Never ghosted anyone on social media or elsewhere. I have "faded away" as others have put it. I have an old friend from Arizona that I've allowed that to happen to. It has become a lot of effort to see him when I'm in town, and he was aloof the last time I met with him, so even though he has since said "we should talk" I have ignored it and let that fade away. When people act like that they are maintaining the relationship more out of obligation or guilt than from actual interest.
A longtime business colleague of mine quit working for the company I'm currently under contract to. I tried to maintain our acquaintance, went out of my way to set up an in-person visit with him when I was in the town he lives in. He claimed he was too busy. It's pretty clear he doesn't want anything to do with me. That's unfortunate because we've worked together in 3 different companies in the industry over more than 20 years.
I'm not sure the exact reasons why he left the company, but I found he's pretending everyone else he's worked with for years don't exist either. So it's not personal.
I think sometimes people do this to close a chapter on their life. It's not as common with work relationships (or as smart; in business, you never throw anything out of your Rolodex). But it's common in some other relationships. The canonical example is when you transition out of college and/or into marriage, and all your former friends lose interest. Another is when you have a major bereavement and some of your friends avoid you because it's uncomfortable for them and reminds them of their own mortality.
I felt similar when my friend ghosted me. But then I found out he ghosted everyone, so I didn't take it personally. I chalk it up to the shit I found out about him and his own problems, not mine.
And yea, I think it's a normal part of life to lose people, fade away from people, make new friends, etc.
I was looking for a story of someone who ghosted a crazy ex or something LOL. I guess no one's had that.
If you're frightened of dying, and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the Earth.
