Black Pill Dating Theory?

[FrustratedFool]

@Rev.Rye

I think what you say makes good sense of incel communities, at least from my limited experience. And I'm sure there's quite some overlap between BP and incels.

Really, the issue seems, from your post, to be the response to an issue rather than the identification of the issue itself.

What seems to me to be the core of BP, and what appears to me to be basic common sense, is that physical attractiveness (separate from, say, personality, employment, status, etc) is a (indeed, the) major contributor to dating. That is, as I say in the OP, if we lay aside the sexism and self-pity and anger etc (all of which are very much there, and maybe worth discussing separately).

Some go so far as to say that without a high level of attractiveness you will never have sex, but that often seems to be rhetorical hyperbole to me when I question them more since BPers will still agree that even a very unattractive person can pay for sex (indeed, this fact alone makes the term incel somewhat a misnomer), and that many average looking people can have at least limited dating success with unattractive people if they try hard enough and for long enough. And most also accept outliers, like Satre mentioned above. So even with hardline black-pillers the real idea is simply that looks are a massive factor not an absolute rule. At least, that's how it appears to me when you dissect the rhetoric.

So, as far as that goes I agree with them. The responses to that fact, though, are very varied in my experience: geomaxxin, looksmaxxing, PUA, whoremaxxing, gaymaxxing, and a bunch of other stuff often ending in 'maxxing'. It's also sometimes advocated to abandon human relationships entirely and fulfill the psychological needs of touch, companionship, sex, etc with psuedo-relationships (tulpas, dolls, bots, VR, pron etc), or pay for escorts, or turn to celibacy undergirded by religion and mysticism. I see little consistency there.

In trying to find an answer to 'what they want' then it is a little difficult. But in the same way I think I can pare their core problem down to 'looks really, really matter', I think I can pare down their desires to the following two options: 'I want to be attractive to, and develop a successful relationship with, people who I find attractive' and 'I want to have a life as easy as other people (usually young attractive women) have.'

The latter is, of course, envy (even if understandable) and unattainable, and is likely the core source of much of the more gross sentiment, sexism, and nasty rehtoric. Jealousy can often lead to hate.

The former, though, seems a totally normal and appreciable goal - doesn't every non-celibate allosexual/romantic person want to be found attractive by someone they in turn find attractive? I think this the real source of the mental and emotional pain of these people. It's also what I think incels really mean when they say they can't get laid. It's not they can't find someone somewhere to have sex with (perhaps for money), it's that they don't receive sexual validation from the people they find attractive.

It seems obvious when stated, but many seem to not realise, that ugly people don't find ugly people attractive. Ugly people still attractive people attractive same as everyone else. And in the same way that avergae and good looking people will rarely if ever choose to date someone they find physically and sexually repulsive, the same is true for people even if they're really physically unattractive. That's just human nature. Of course, many lonely people will 'settle' for what they can get (doesn't everyone?), but it won't stop them having that as an unfulfilled desire.