(August 22, 2023 at 5:34 am)FrustratedFool Wrote: @Belacqua
I think we can agree: looks really matter. And a big part of looks is grooming. If you are at least average looking, then grooming can really elevate your attractiveness, and if you're good looking poor grooming can really cripple your attractiveness. Likewise with confidence - it can elevate or ruin.
Fair?
I guess where I might say most BP type folk fall, though, is into the category of: if you are genuinely physically ugly/short/fat/disfigured then not only are you unlikely to have the background necessary to have engendered confidence, but even with good grooming and confidence you are not going to meet most people's minimum looks threshold and/or you will be less appealing than other dating options they have available to them, and thus dating will be a serious struggle for you.
Yes, now that I think about it more, there are surely people who are unlucky enough to be unpleasant-looking to the degree that improved style is not going to make a big enough difference.
I remember in my home town, long long ago, there was a young man who worked nights at the train station. He had some kind of terrible skin condition, to the point where it felt bad just to look at him. Very hard to imagine anyone wanting to kiss him.
No doubt this is why he took the job he did -- not visible in the daytime, and the human contact he did have was mostly with transients. I made an effort to be friendly, but he was bitter about it and flipped me off when he thought I wasn't looking.
This was decades before the terms "incel" or "black pill" were invented, but he would probably find common cause with such people today.
