Why I Won't "Come Out" to Dad

[FallentoReason]

I will never tell my father I am an atheist.

Here's why:

He's not very religious and doesn't go to church, but he believes in god and that loved ones are reunited after death. He is comforted by this belief because he has lost his parents, his only sibling, his wife (my mother), his only son (my brother), and his two step-sons (my half-brothers). I am his only daughter.

If I tell him I'm an atheist, that's like telling him I am choosing to be left out of the great family reunion that will happen in heaven.

Telling him I'm an atheist so that I can feel better ("I can be myself!") would be incredibly selfish.

He would respect my choice. But he would be devastated by it. He has suffered so much already; I will never hurt him by doing this.

I am not posting this to dissuade anyone else from "coming out" to their family. Everyone's situation is unique. But I would advise that, before doing so, you give serious thought to how this decision might affect them.

I know exactly how you feel. I can't say my situation is as intense as yours though.

A few nights ago at the dinner table I was trying to get advice from my parents (non practicing Catholics) on how to distance myself from my Pentecostal church where my life is still heavily based around. Anyways, one thing led to another and I was asked directly if I believed in God or not. Strangely, I smiled, and replied honestly with a 'no'. Now, we've been down this road before but maybe it didn't get addressed so full on. My parents had previously concluded that they were happy that I was making up my own mind and not taking in what other people told me. This time though it was so different, and I almost felt heartbroken.

Anyways, the rest of dinner was basically an awkward justification of my new beliefs where whatever I said about the Bible my dad would reply 'jeez, I wish I had read it more thoroughly when I was younger'. Basically, he didn't know how to respond everytime simply because he isn't familiar with the book. This is seriously devastating for me because neither my dad or mum know what they're saying about their own beliefs, yet they concluded the conversation by saying they want me to sort it out and figure out how the Bible really is the truth, even though our family is not remotely affected by Christianity in any way.

At the back of their minds, they need this scapegoat to avoid an eternity of non-existence. I don't think I can ever take that away from them...