Let's Start Over, I'm Blackrook and I'm Here to Get Some Answers to Important Questions

[TaraJo]

My life has basically been one shitty experience after another, ad infinitum.

If I thought this life was all there is I seriously could not stand being alive.

The only thing that keeps me going, the ONLY THING, is believing that at some point something really good is going to happen to me.

I've given up on something good happening to me in this life, so all I have left is the life in the hereafter.

So if I was an atheist, I would probably kill myself so my wife could get the life insurance money.

I am being totally serious here.

*hugs* I've been there. I've made multiple suicide attempts and spent years where I was firmly convinced there was nothing to live for you. I wish I could give you a suggestion how to get over it, but what worked for me probably won't work for you. I can say that even if you don't believe it now, things will get better and if you commit suicide, you won't be able to see them get better.