Mary's 10 Year Pregnancy!

[Statler Waldorf]

the slaughter of the innocents is a historical inaccuracy because it never happened.

You know this how?

I don't carry around an original manuscript bible in Greek so I have to use the four translations I do have which all confirm in Luke 2:1-6 that there was a census when Quirinius was governor of Syria, Joseph registered for it when Mary was with child. pretty plain and simple.... do you not read your own fantasy tale?

Well let’s go with what Luke actually wrote in the Greek. What he wrote does not necessarily have to be translated that way.

The Sanhedrin were forbidden to meet over Passover. they would have violated Judaic law and we're [sic] forbidden to meet at night.

Jesus was executed on Passover Eve, and the day of preparation as observed by the Sadducees. This is supported by the Babylonian Talmud which states that Jesus was killed on Passover Eve, and makes no objection to the timing of this in regards to Jewish law.

There's no verification of a significant crucifixion in the writings of historians such as Philo, Tacitus, Josephus, Pliny, Suetonius, Epictectus, Cluvius Rufus, Quintus, or Publius Petronius.

Why should there be? Jesus and his execution are mentioned by several of these sources though. That’s more than I would even expect considering the region Jesus lived in.

Horus-virgin birth, baptised at 30, born in manger, crucified-rose three days later

That is actually false. Horus was not born of a virgin, his mother Isis was not a virgin when she gave birth to Horus. The Myth of Horus never says he was born in a manger. Horus also was never baptized. Horus was never crucified either (the myth of Horus predates the invention of crucifixion), nor was he ever resurrected (there is no account of Horus even being killed).

Attis-virgin birth, savior slain for mankind, body eaten by followers, cricigied [sic] amd rose 3 days later

That is also false. Attis was not born of a virgin, Attis grew from an almond which had been placed in his mother’s bosom after she picked it from an almond tree that grew from Zeus’ discarded penis (to say this somehow resembles the virgin birth account in the New Testament is laughable). Attis also was never crucified but actually castrated himself under a pine tree. Attis’ body was preserved by the goddess Sebelius (not resurrected and not three days later), and this portion of the myth does not first appear until 150 A.D., so it postdates Christianity anyways. The other portions of the Attis myth that resemble Christianity do not appear until the 4th Century A.D., so they also postdate Christianity.

Zoroaster-virgin birth, baptised in river, tempted in wilderness, restored blind mans sight, cast out demons

I could confirm none of this concerning the life of Zoroaster. Seems to be ultimately irrelevant though since most of what we know of Zoroaster comes from the Dēnkard which dates to the 9th Century A.D. and the Shāhnāmeh which dates to between the 9th and 12 Century A.D..

Glycon- raised dead, spoke in tongues, healed the sick

Glycon was a snake god who was first worshipped as a physical snake. I could find no mention of him ever speaking in tongues or healing the sick. He was a god of fertility and was believed to be able to make infertile women pregnant. This bears no similarity with Christianity.

Heracles-attemped murder as infant, descended into Hades

Yes, Heracles’ step-mother Juno tried to kill him when he was an infant by placing a serpent in his crib. I am not sure how this is supposed to be similar to King Herod trying to kill Jesus with his soldiers. I can find no mention of Heracles descending into Hades.

Dionysus-virgin birth on Dec 25, manger, rode on a donkey, sacred king killed for purification, alpha omega

Dionysus was not born of a virgin, Zeus- disguised as a human- had physical sex with the princess Semele. There is no reference to his birth being on December 25 (which would be irrelevant anyways because the Bible never says Jesus was born on December 25). There is no mention of him ever being a sacred king killed for purification or being called the Alpha and Omega.

Romulus

What about him?

Odysseus

What about him?

Buddha

What about him?

No first century Greco-Roman or Jewish writer ever heard of your silly god boy.

That’s actually false (even though you have done nothing to demonstrate why we require such a standard), Josephus mentions him and Josephus was a 1st Century Jewish writer. Tacitus, Suetonius, and Pliny the Younger were 1st Century figures and all mention him as well- you are so horrible at this. I am so glad we live in a world where people like you are not taken seriously.

But if we pretend they did, actual physical men existing, leader or minions, would not make magic babies real or surviving rigor mortis real.

Who said it did?

Arguing over Jesus existing, or Betheham or Josephus as a "historian" is fucking stupid.

No it’s not. It proves that atheists will believe anything, no matter how unsupported or fringe as long as it is self-serving to their atheism.

We can prove the existence of George Washington,

Just as we can prove the existence of the historical Jesus; you and I both know that If it were convenient to their position, many atheists would deny the existence of even George Washington.