(November 25, 2013 at 9:57 pm)Wunsbee Wrote:(November 25, 2013 at 9:43 pm)Minimalist Wrote: How old are you?
I'm 16
Really? I was confirmed at 12, which I thought was standard. Worst of all, all the preparation for that, plus my first confession and communion was done in school, which didn't seem weird to me at the time but now it's clear to me what it is - indoctrination.
As for your dilemma, the free speaker in me feels you should speak up. However the capitalist in me says to stay quiet. In Irish and Italian customs especially, communion and confirmation are times to get paid. Friends and relatives give you money. Why? I don't know. I just remember being in school and the think all the kids were excited about wasn't the ceremony itself, it was how much money we'd get.
So, if you've got that tradition, I say you may as well get paid for partaking in a meaningless ceremony. If you don't have the tradition however and you feel strongly about not doing it, you have to be true to yourself.
It actually may not be a terrible idea to speak to your parish priest. Seriously. Now, it depends what kind of priest he is (i.e. is he a grumpy old man) but you could go to him and inform him that you're an atheist and that you could go through with the confirmation but that you'd be lying while answering the questions, which of course would defeat the whole point of the ceremony.
As for your parents, if there's someone else in your family who knows you're an atheist or is open minded, you could ask them to support you while talking to your parents. My own view, and it isn't everyone's, is that being a closet atheist ultimately does more harm than good. It forces you to lie to others about who you are and the best way forward is to be open and honest. If your parents know your general feelings about the Church and don't hassle you about it, there's a good chance they'll be understanding and at least willing to listen to your point of view. If they're really strict though, I admit it will be tough. Either way, if you can have someone by your side while you talk to them, it would be helpful.
