I don't think we can get any further, I've explained it as best I can. As far as I can see, you're not using logic at all, you're making decisions based on your emotions.
Feel free to send me a private message.
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Please visit my website here! It's got lots of information about atheism/theism and support for new atheists.
Index of useful threads and discussions
Index of my best videos
Quickstart guide to the forum