Hate the belief, not the believer

[Godscreated]

Why not have a discussion with them about how they make you feel they may not be aware of how you feel.

GC

I can't get into details. This is all from a purely emotional stand point as I have zero contact with these people now. Somehow they still find ways to hurt me from a distance.

Again Losty I'm sorry for the way things went and yes I got mad at the others. Even after you posted they keep right on going not paying any attention to what you said, it just made me really mad.

I do not need details nor should you have to say things you do not want to. However it's hard to suggest something when one doesn't understand the situation. I know that family especially can say thing that come across as cruel and they do not mean to, I'm not saying they have done this, for all I know they could have done much worse.
One thing I would say is cut off the ways they do find to get at you. If you can't ignore them.

These are people who have known me my entire life. Family. They have endangered my life and the lives of my children. They are a threat to us themselves. They've kind of been a threat to me my whole life.

If they are threatening you the law should be used, family or not they can't threaten you with harm it's against the law, I know sometimes you can't get far enough away from the threats to ever feel safe and I hope that's not your case.

But let's say I could sit down and discuss with them. How do you tell a person what they're doin hurts you when what they're doing is telling you the abuse you suffer is a result of your not being a good enough Christian,

That's hard to do, especially if they want listen and especially if they believe they haven't done anything wrong in their service to God. Christians at times have a hard time understanding troubles in another's life, they listen little and speak to much, even if they mean well. Let me say this, God want us people to harm you to get you to return to Him, He doesn't work that way. Being physically harmed by someone is evil on their part and not a Christian way.

trying to use your kids as leverage for blackmail to convince you to stay with a husband who has tried to kill you, tried to take your kids on several occasions, given your personal information to your exhusband, tried to find you even after you left and changed your number? These things hurt me, but I shouldn't have to tell them. It should be obvious.

Your right you shouldn't have to say anything to them, you should however say something to the law, it's there to protect you and your children.

I am just lost somewhere inside my mind struggling against my loving forgiving nature that tells me I am wrong for blaming them.

If you are not guilty of anything in this then quit blaming yourself, that's what it looks like you're doing. Don't hate them though, it will only make things worse for you, you can hate their actions and not feel guilty. Forgiving them will make you feel better inside and that's the peace you need and hate will only cloud the peace you need.

My conscious tells me it's not their fault and I should love them anyways. My brain tells me they're horrible people and I have every right to blame them because I was subjected to religion and abuse from a young age and I would never do this to anyone.

First of all you shouldn't have allow their actions to effect your beliefs you had, Christianity is a personal relationship with God and I assure you God's hand is not in the abuse you've endured. Evil is responsible for that and that evil comes within the people who are trying to control you. I see that Christian beliefs are still a part of your life and I believe that's good, but you need to put them in a correct order of use. You need to realize that there are times when your children and you are more important than feeling sorry for those who harm you. It's really hard to give any concrete statements, and I've not, because I do not know the entire situation. there's always two sides to a story, I've lived long enough to know this to be true, I've been involved in some situations for others to have learned this. So consider what I said as advice to be used only if it applies and ignored if it doesn't, wish I could help more, but without a face to face it's just extremely difficult. If there is some thing you can e-mail me, it's on my users page. I would say I'm praying for you situation, but I do not want to upset you farther, so I'll just say hope the best for you and am available if needed.

GC